SFist Watches: Your Locals On Reality TV
Reality TV: Will it never end?
Apparently not. And we're sorry, but we just can't get behind this three-seasons-a-year crap. "American Idol" has it right: once a year is all you need. But despite the complaining, we're still hopelessy addicted, and find watching these shows more entertaining when there are locals we can root for and/or mock. For now all we have are two castaways on "Survivor: Fiji Islands," Yau-Man, a 54-year old computer engineer from Martinez, and Sylvia, a 52-year old architect from Ross. Yes. They're both in their 50s. And you know what that means! They're both doomed. DOOMED!
The survivors arrived on an island and did the usual getting-to-know-you crap. Soon, they will all hate each other, but for now: bonding! Looks like they decided to keep the racial diversity this time around, without the dumb racial war aspect of last season. (Speaking of last season, what has Yul done for us lately?) It's way too early to even try to know the names of everyone, so we'll just focus on our locals. Yau-Man told a fellow castaway that he's adept in the craft of coconut-opening, having grown up on the island of Borneo. There's a lot of youngins on that island. He'd better prove himself early! And he did. When Probst dropped a box from a plane, all the youngins tried to bust it open, with little success, and Yau-Man stepped in, pounded the corner, and the box popped open. Man can OPEN things, yo.
The castaways soon learned they had all the materials and tools needed to build a sweet shelter. Sylvia, being an architect, was given the site plan, and figured out the layout, and immediately started to annoy everyone by giving orders, taking control, and using words like "askew" and "orthogonal." Despite all her order barking, they didn't manage to finish the shelter by night (and rain) fall. The next morning, Yau-Man made "tea," and one castaway deemed him a keeper. The shelter was finished, and the survivors began to worry about what was coming next since things seemed too good.
Challenge time! Sylvia was picked out as a leader and given the task of separating everyone into two tribes, and was also sent to Exile Island, where she would be able to play with sea snakes and look for the Hii (Hidden Immunity Idol). Yau-Man was placed on the orange Ravu team. The challenge was a lot of pulling running, grunting, and puzzles. The usual. Yau-Man's team lost, which meant they would not get to return to the shelter they had just built (which now included a couch and hammocks). Instead they got a machete and a pot. (Presumably to piss in.)
Sylvia got to Snakes On an Island and found the cryptic clue about the location of the Hii. Meanwhile, the Ravu tribe got to their crappy island, and Yau-Man immediately started chopping open coconuts, while the others started plotting who would get sent home. Some set their sites on Rita because she was perceived as weak, and others targeted Jessica because she loused up the puzzle challenge.
Tribal council! It was revealed they didn't have fire yet. (Yau-Man! What's up with that?) Yau-Man admitted he's a target because of his age, but he can open coconuts and boxes, so he should be safe for now, yes?
Yes. Jessica was vote out. Yau-Man and Sylvia? See you next week.