Top Chef: La-La-Later
We feel that it's time to remind folks of our motivation in writing these short reviews of Top Chef, a fine cooking-based reality show on Bravo.
-- First and foremost, we (usually) like it and want to help keep it on the air. We figure that sharing what happened last week on the day a new episode is about to air may prompt viewers to tune in.
-- Well, we suppose there's a chance one of the ousted contestants will see our review and go semi-coherently ballistic in the comments section (yes, Emily, we're totally jealous). However, since these cheftestants probably sign some kind of NDA, we don't see that happening.
We needed to remind ourselves why, because we found last week's episode pretty disappointing. Another list to explain:
-- Contestants we enjoy watching keep getting knocked off--and this time, right after we hyped him (yeah, Mikey went home, details below).
-- Guys we thought were cool are progressively turning into total dicks (Ilan in particular. Also see below).
-- The main challenge just lacked a certain . . . well, it lacked a lot. Effort on the part of contestants and producers, we think
-- While it was cool seeing a San Francisco guest judge, Mike Yakura of Le Colonial, he seemed like a bit of a poser and a schmuck, particularly in the Elimination round.
One good thing: The outcast Astroboy, Marcel, on the rooftop, rapping about what a wonderful chef he is? Priceless.
Another good thing: the Quickfire Challenges, while no longer providing immunity to the winner, do seem to have a prize of some sort always attached to them. This time, the top two in the Quickfire got to serve as captains for the team-based Elimination Challenge. Not so good: more overt corporate shillery: the Quickfire required the six remaining contestants to use various Kraft products (mayo, dressing, BBQ sauce) to create a snack. Lots of cheftestants on camera explaining their respective love or hatred of mayo, for instance. Dullsville, in fact.
Marcel (lamb kabobs) and Sam (tempura sandwich) were the winners, and got to be captains for what last season was an awesome challenge -- each team was to open and run a temporary restaurant.
So why did it stink this season?
Sam, Mike, and Ilan went for a rustic-yet-modern Italian place; Marcel, Elia, and Cliff went for puffed-up diner food.
We must admit, we're going to be brief -- we found the challenge underwhelming to watch, and we're not especially excited to write about it. Do we sense another list to explain? You betcha:
The good:
-- Sam, Mike, and Ilan's restaurant name, "Lalalina," was totally cute. We are confident enough in our masculinity to stand by the use of that term. Very cute.
-- The general props from the other chefs that Elia's hamburgers were something delicious/to be feared (even if they didn't ultimately pan out). It was nice to see a little positivity.
The bad:
-- The designers got their asses in gear far too late, and we really think this took away from the final product for both teams.
-- The resources. The teams were given a few hundred bucks for food and another sum for equipment -- but if this a true management challenge, shouldn't they have been given the option of, say, hiring more waiters than the one provided?
-- Mike Yakura was kind of a douche, and it's just not fun to watch.
Even so, the contestants themselves were pretty underwhelming. Marcel's chicken appetizer was undercooked. Cliff and Ilan both volunteered for "front of the house" duties and both stunk. Elia's burgers didn't turn out so well, partially, we surmise, because of the poor performance by Cliff in terms of managing orders, etc. The team from "Lalalina" didn't get wine for budgetary purposes; that being the case, Mike just didn't spend that money at the supply store rather than applying it to something else. A receptacle for olive pits, for instance (the judge's team -- Padma, actually -- found an old pit on their table).
Cliff isn't sure whether to run or stand up whenever they ask about a dish, as he's not sure if he'll get credit or blame. He's less impressive than he used to be; not much of a stand-up guy this episode. Sam's dessert is like something out of Cthulu -- watermelon and cheese? Are you kidding?
There is no winner. Cliff, Ilan, and Mike are determined to be the worst of the three. Mike, because he didn't figure out that they could have used supplies beyond what was on "the list" is given the boot.
The best thing about this episode (aside from Marcel's awesome rooftop rap), was the classy, cool, relaxed way that Mike took off. Good on you, pal. NoCal represent.
Tonight promises hijinx--we're a bit scared of what they are going to do to Marcel. Eeep! Tune in on Bravo, tonight at 10 p.m.