There's no Swells society column today! Sad! So we're doing a Fake Question Time By The Numbers instead.

Number of people in attendance: 200.

Number of chickens: 6.

Number of times Angela Alioto referred to "Bessie," a 94-year-old homeless woman she's befriended: 6.

Number of questions Gavin collected: 2 inches of cards (We'd estimate maybe around 100).

Number of questions Gavin read: About 10 (grouped into categories, except for our question, which he did not answer).

How much it would have cost for the supervisors to attend: Given the requirements of the Brown Act, about $10,000-$15,000 to set up a "special board meeting" at the Rec Center.

Number of people trying to keep the chickens out of the meeting: 1 (Wade Crowfoot), who was forced to relent when the chickens' attorney showed up.

Number of invitations sent out by the mayor's office: 1000.

Angela Alioto's phone number, which she encourages you to call if you see any homeless person on the street in San Francisco who needs help: (415) 434-8700.

Number of dogs: 1. We're still not sure why Fiona Ma brought her spaniel puppy to the event (but it was very cute!).

Getty v. Traina: 1-1 (Trevor Traina is listed as a "philanthropist" in the Styles section today.)

After the jump, a quick summary of Newsom's proposals on homelessness, just so you don't think we weren't entirely paying attention (plus, it's an excuse for us to run more pictures that we took. Man, we love our digital camera.)

Picture of Fiona Ma at Fake Question Time, with her dog.

Since taking office, the Newsom administration is reporting that over 4,790 homeless people have been placed into permanent housing and 1,798 units of affordable housing have been built. The next phase of activity is going to be to support homeless families, who have different needs from homeless individuals, in that homeless families tend to be more "episodically homeless" and don't function as well in shelters.

The administration strongly denies any "criminalization of homelessness," with Newsom pointing out that he had gotten one question about why the city was so lenient with homeless individuals and another about why the city had been so harsh. They're working with the police and fire department to support individuals and make sure we use city resources wisely in doing so (so you give the chronic ODer supportive housing at $30,000 to save $1,000,000 in fire, police, and hospital services).

In terms of substance abuse, the administration acknowledges there are still issues in reaching those communities. Newsom said that his office was suggesting a "wet" shelter -- ordinarily, you must be sober to use a city shelter bed, but they're thinking about opening one where you can be drunk. There were some snickers in the audience, we regret to report.

Other topics covered included how the city's team is combating the cold weather, the status of the 39 Fell Street shelter, and how popular Project Homeless Connect is. (We're still disappointed he didn't answer our question about the problems with gathering stats, though! Just because someone says something you don't want to hear doesn't mean they're out to get you -- Just look at the comments we get as a matter of course around here, for instance. What if we dealt with them the way Gavin Newsom does?)

Even we can admit that it was good to hear what the city's doing on the homelessness issue, and Newsom should justly be lauded for tackling the problem. But why call it a forum to speak directly to the people if you're not going to let the people speak directly to you? Why not just call it a speech and panel discussion, then? If it walks like a chicken and it talks like a chicken, it's.....