Top Chef: My God, What The Hell Is Padma Wearing?
Ha ha -- so, there was a week hiatus of Bravo's Top Chef -- a perfect chance for your correspondent to get ahead of the game and start writing these reviews shortly after the episode. Alas, we didn't take that chance. So, here's the deal as always: we're talking about last week's episode to psych you up for tonight's.
And, wow, last week's ep. was pretty fun! First comment: how is it we've avoided talking about Padma's strange outfits heretofore? Cuz, dude, she's really smokin', obviously, but we think the ladies from Gofugyourself are missing out on a potential Fort Knox of comedy if they aren't taking advantage already.
You may remember our complaint back in week 1 that there seemed to be too many contestants. Well, we were down to nine for this episode, and man, it's so much better -- each chef-testant gets that much more face time; we really get to see what they are cooking.
And you can really go deeper into the show if you want. Bravo's Web folks do a swell job of backing up this show (as they evidently do with many other shows, but we don't watch those . . . our TV viewing dance card is full). You can read blogs by Chef Tom, Gail, Padma, former cheftestant Dave (he's not yer bitch, bitch), and season one winner Harold (but, jeez, Bravo, couldn't you have taken a better picture? This headshot of Harold is like one of those grade school pics where the photographer makes you sit with your body facing left, neck tilting to the right, head looking at some imaginary spot beyond the camera . . . [shudder] nightmarish visions of our childhood whenever we log on).
You can also dig deeper by visiting CHOW magazine's Web site, which has a number of podcasts, mostly with exiled contestants, but one with Chef Tom C. They are all quite entertaining -- let us give you the short version. Marisa=came off better, a little ditzy, a little cute; Emily=still a snobby bitch (um, look who's commenting on Padma's cellulite? c'mon, M. Plimpton); Suyai=probably more interesting than some of those that lasted longer; Otto=seems okay, worth a listen; Carlos=about as bland as he seemed on camera. One complaint: one of the bitchy interviewers says Gail looks like she's always sucking lemons. I can see her point, but still . . . nobody insults our Gail. NOBODY! Okay, well, at least not without invoking our ire.
Okay, back to the recap/review.
The Quickfire (i.e., immunity) challenge didn't involve "fire" at all -- the gang had to run down to the Redondo Beach Farmers' Market and buy ingredients for a non-cooked entree. The guest judge was Raphael Lunetta from some restaurant called "Jiraffe" (specializing in neck meat, naturally). Notably, none of the dishes were outright embarrassing; they all seemed at least "okay."
Marcel, who's talked a good game but hasn't won anything yet, pulls out the victory with his Watermelon Steak (which, incidentally, Ilan was very dismissive of). So, good on him. He's a little arrogant and weird (and that hair!), but he's not such a bad guy it seems. He's certainly not going to elicit the visceral reactions that our old friend Stephen did last season, no matter how much the show is produced to recreate that special kind of anti-magic.
For the elimination challenge, the folks know they have to cook breakfast for hungry athletes, but the venue is uncertain. What sort of kitchen, etc etc. Gambling correctly could be the key to victory.
They show up at the beach at the crack of dawn to cook for .....surfers! Sweet. Nothing makes one as hungry as hanging out in salt water. But they have to cook over open flames/grills. There goes Frank's breakfast quiche idea. Plus his eggs were rubbery and he tried to incorporate some sort of canolli cream. Guh huh? Sam's "green eggs and . . ." idea fizzles out when he burns his basil. Cliff's got good flavor, but it looks like throwup and has a bit of sand in it. These were the bottom three.
Purgatory: Mikey forgot the eggs for his breakfast taco. Good going Betty and others for chipping in to get him the six he needs. The tacos go over pretty well! Ilan does a Spanish tortilla that's cohesive and well-suited to eating between sets of waves. The surfers put his dish in their top three, though for some reason that didn't equate to making the judge's top three. Scandal!
The ladies were the top three: Betty's presentation on her egg/ham/toastlett thingee is lovely and it was "cravable." That's your author's interpretation; that hideous word has fallen out of favor with the judges. Mia's dish is as inspired as the name she gives it is insipid ("Mama Mia's blah blah blah"). Crabcakes and eggs are a natural beach breakfast combo and mango cream sauce should be great with the sweetness of good crab. But the winner is our favorite (it's because of the accent) Elia, once again. Unlike her sort of de facto Thanksgiving Soup victory, this one's for reals: a waffle with a sunny-side-up egg, ham, and syrup. A real grab & go, sweet+salty+carbs+protein= yummy. It's like an experiment gone right. While Sam dings her for the frozen waffle, it sort of raises the question of how she cooked that aspect of the dish so well sans toaster oven.
Anyways, huggable mobster Frank is sent packing. We liked him, but today--when three high-performing cheftestants were up for elimination, the worst dish went home.
Watch tonight and let us know what you think! 10 p.m., on Bravo.