This week we cover hard drugs, bodily functions, and most agonizing of all -- MUNI.

Keep those questions flowin' to [email protected].

Include your question, your name, and your city/neighborhood – just like when you were filling out your craigslist Missed Connections post.

We solve all most as much as we can care to. Hrrm. And awaaay we go!

Q:

This makes no sense from a civic or economic standpoint. What is standing in the way of universal MUNI card purchasing? Can't we introduce a bill or something?? ~~~ Matty \ San Francisco

A: Well, if it wasn't inefficient, haphazardly executed, and a waste of your personal time, it wouldn't be MUNI, would it?

Fast Passes are necessary for so many in this city that it's amazing how hard it is to find them. The whole enterprise is a mess.

A very nice fellow on the MUNI information line helped us with this one.

So, why don't you just sell them through the MUNI booths? "We don't actually have a body to do that," said the voice on the line. Oh. Whuh? "We don't." OK.

Fast Passes are only available from retail vendors (your post offices, supermarkets, tobacconists, etc) from five days before the end of each month, until a few day after the first of the month. Then MUNI takes them back from the vendor. Huh? Yup. "They had a problem with loss or fraud," said my info guy. OK. All Safeways in the city purchase Fast Passes during this period, but only a limited amount.

You can find vendors who sell Fast Passes with this MUNI page, searchable by ZIP code.

During the selling time of the month, a tent is erected inside Montgomery Station from 1PM to 7PM. There, you can buy Fast Passes. Here's MUNI's apology page for that.

To avoid the whole rigmarole, here is the sfvisitor.org page to order a Fast Pass online near the selling time.

ok, I used to live here and I forgot how annoying this was, but now that I've moved back, I want answers: What's the deal with buying MUNI cards? Why do they not sell them at MUNI stations? Or from vending machines in MUNI stations? Or from post offices or all supermarkets or some kinda standard? Why is it always "well, you could try Safeway but I heard they're outta them, or this one tobacconist on this one street, otherwise go down to Powell and Market..."