It's time for SFist Answers! Now that you've asked Questions, we give you Answers.
This week we cover hard drugs, bodily functions, and most agonizing of all -- MUNI.
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We solve all most as much as we can care to. Hrrm. And awaaay we go!
Q: ok, I used to live here and I forgot how annoying this was, but now that I've moved back, I want answers: What's the deal with buying MUNI cards? Why do they not sell them at MUNI stations? Or from vending machines in MUNI stations? Or from post offices or all supermarkets or some kinda standard? Why is it always "well, you could try Safeway but I heard they're outta them, or this one tobacconist on this one street, otherwise go down to Powell and Market..."
This makes no sense from a civic or economic standpoint. What is standing in the way of universal MUNI card purchasing? Can't we introduce a bill or something?? ~~~ Matty \ San Francisco
A: Well, if it wasn't inefficient, haphazardly executed, and a waste of your personal time, it wouldn't be MUNI, would it?
Fast Passes are necessary for so many in this city that it's amazing how hard it is to find them. The whole enterprise is a mess.
A very nice fellow on the MUNI information line helped us with this one.
So, why don't you just sell them through the MUNI booths? "We don't actually have a body to do that," said the voice on the line. Oh. Whuh? "We don't." OK.
Fast Passes are only available from retail vendors (your post offices, supermarkets, tobacconists, etc) from five days before the end of each month, until a few day after the first of the month. Then MUNI takes them back from the vendor. Huh? Yup. "They had a problem with loss or fraud," said my info guy. OK. All Safeways in the city purchase Fast Passes during this period, but only a limited amount.
You can find vendors who sell Fast Passes with this MUNI page, searchable by ZIP code.
During the selling time of the month, a tent is erected inside Montgomery Station from 1PM to 7PM. There, you can buy Fast Passes. Here's MUNI's apology page for that.
To avoid the whole rigmarole, here is the sfvisitor.org page to order a Fast Pass online near the selling time.
If you'd like to buy a Fast Pass today, now now NOW, you can do so at any of the cable car kiosks in the city: Powell & Market, Beach & Hyde, Bay & Taylor. Also, 949 Presidio @ Geary, right next to the desolation that is the Lucky Penny.
"All the passes, even the tourists passes are tough to get," said the hotline operator. "There are kiosks, but only open at certain times, and not on weekends. It's just not a very convenient way to have [tourists] try to spend their money." Indeed!
If you'd like to ask MUNI pointed questions about their wacky Fast Pass policies, call their Revenue Department at 415 923-6050, or their general info line at 415 673-6864. You could get in touch with the folks at Rescue MUNI watchdog group. Perhaps they can help.
Fast Pass vending machines! Now that'd be a fine idea...
Q: Why are fat chicks so into Bettie Page? ~~~ Trevor \ Inner Sunset
A: Who isn't into Bettie Page? She's charming.
Q: Oh SFist, what is a girl to do? I recently moved into a place in the Mission, on one of its not-so-gentrified streets. A crack dealer shares my address (though not my apartment). This may sound strange, but the only time it bothers me is when there is a crackhead standing at my gate waiting for the guy to come down or to let him in and I have to squeeze past them. The dealer is an older guy with a wife and kids. The crackheads, believe it or not, are pretty amicable and generally get their stuff and get on their way.
I realize that crack is a very bad thing and does very bad things to people and to neighborhoods. I also realize that no one likes a snitch (and believe me, I'd never dream of ratting him out when I actually lived there). One person I asked said I shouldn't tell because its "bad karma," but sometime I feel a responsibility to rat him out, I mean, it's not like he's slinging the good California green -- Crack Kills. So, what's a gal to do? ~~~ SF Sarah \ The Mission
A: If the dealer has a wife and kids, then he knows what it is to have something to lose, yet he keeps slangin' rock? Feh. Then you can figure that he has weighed the risks involved. And by staying in "the game" he risks himself, his wife, his children, and now by extension -- you -- since you live in his building and are privy to the commuters of his trade.
He is responsible for his actions. His actions are high-risk, and it effects everyone around him, including you. If something bad happens, it may affect you, and then it won't matter how much you're saving on rent by living where you live. That's the risk you are taking. Happy endings don't come along when crack is involved.
It sounds as though you're not too perturbed by the status quo of how things are, but if something bad happens, call the cops. Simple as that.
Finally, we'd rather be gentle, but frankly, the person who you asked about your situation who said it'd be "bad karma" gave a silly answer. What could be worse karma that crackity-crack crack-rock crackie-crack?! The only good thing crack ever gave us is... uh, hmm, oh; that's right -- nothin'.
Q: Does yogurt cause you to have gas? ~~~ A. Fanofyourwebsite \ San Francisco, CA
A: Us'n some Dannon are gonna consort, and we'll get back to you on that next Wednesday.
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this sounds more like a dear Abby
I don't think any Dear Abby letter had, "A crack dealer shares my address," in it.
Not so many crack dealers back in Abby's day.
Plus, I would totally crush her in a burrito-eating contest.
Someone write "Abby" and tell her to meet me down at Papalote next Sunday around 11 AM. We'll throw back Negro Modelos and see which of us advice columnists can put down a burrito grande quicker. Loser pays for both and must refer to the victor as Papi for the rest of the day.
There is no reason for this, yet I feel strongly about it.
Dear god, Abby is a peer for me now? Ahh jeez.
I have a feeling that ratting out the crack dealer will be the start of a long and complicated series of terrible experiences. I'd advise looking the other way -- the same tactic I advise with panhandlers, since that's an unsolvable problem, too -- and finding a new place to live. An apartment search sucks, but opening a chapter in your life entitled "My Misadventures With the Crack Dealer" sucks more.
Crackheads are always nice around their dealers. On other blocks they fight, steal, and break into cars.
One can sue a landlord for allowing crack dealing on the premises.