SFist Watches: Your Locals On Reality TV

Panel time! Already! You gotta love a season finale that's only an hour long, and doesn't pad the whole affair with a lot of useless flashbacks. The panel loved Melrose's commercial, but didn't like her beauty shot, and questioned whether she's a "beauty shot" girl or not. Eugena and CariDee both did fine with their commercials, and better than Melrose with the beauty shots.

Judging! Who will the final two be?? CariDee, you're still in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Model. And.....Melrose! You're still in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Model! Buh-bye Eugena.

And on with the competition!

It's the battle of the blondes (well, one blonde and one bottle-blonde). CariDee and Melrose got to shoot their Seventeen magazine cover shots. The shots involved lollipops and wind machines, a potentially sticky situation is that.

Back at the apartment the girls had to meet with a life coach. A LIFE COACH! The girls talked about how they thought they'd deal with the stress of winning, and Melrose talked about how she could probably change the way she says things, because sometimes what she says is misconstrued. And that was it for the life coach. Wow. How incredibly helpful.

Runway time, and the theme was some crazy ghost bride shit in a cavern. "Dani" led the pack followed by Melrose and CariDee. Melrose had a much better walk than CariDee, but during a moment where they were supposed to pause and stare each other down on the runway, CariDee stepped on Melrose's dress and tore a hole in it.

Melrose did not take it well. Backstage she had a near panic attack, and acted like she had designed the dress, owned it, and was planning to use it for her upcoming wedding. Girl, get over it! Sheesh! Luckily the runway finale required the models to run around screaming like maniacs, which suited Melrose just fine. Here's some crappy video of the runway show. The audio is totally out of sync, but you'll get the general idea.

Final judging! The judges praised Melrose's performance on the runway, and we have to say, she did the freaking out thing really well. It looked theatrical, but still model-y. CariDee, on the other hand, looked ridiculous. In an obvious bit of voiceover, we heard Tyra say the winner isn't determined on just the runway, but on previous photos as well. We saw some of the previous photos, and CariDee's really were better. In deliberation, they argued that Melrose was too studied and too much of a perfectionist, while CariDee had some natural talent, but was too much of a loose canon.

But loose canons top perfectionists, and CariDee is America's Next Top Model.

Melrose was, obviously, not happy with the choice, saying that she had put her "heart and soul" into the competition, had been called a bitch the entire time, and for what?

Well, so you can come back to San Francisco and open a boutique on Union Street or something, we guess. Welcome home Melrose! Call us!

Previously on "Survivor," Yul revealed he had the secret immunity idol, yet remained in the game unchallenged. Sweet.

Post-tribal council, and the remaining members of Raro were obviously not happy, but there's only two of them left, so who gives a crap? Jonathan realized he was coming off as the bad guy, but again, so what, right?

The next morning while Pavarti was using the machete to hack open a coconut, she sliced through her thumb and OH GOD WE CANNOT STAND TO LOOK AT DEEP CUTS IT MAKES OUR SKIN CRAWL. She got stitches and that's all we can stand to say about it.

Reward challenge, and it was tearjerking family-members-come-to-the-island time. Jonathan's wife, Pavarti's dad, Adam's dad, Becky's sister, Ozzy's mom, Sundra's mom, and Yul's brother all bounded down the beach for a brief hug before the challenge began. We cried. Fine! We admit it! We freak out at the sight of blood, and cry over sappy crap! We're bloggers, people. Not lumberjacks. (We have no idea what that means.)

They then learned they'd be teaming up with their loved ones for the challenge which involved scooping up water and basically throwing it at their partner who would hold a can and try to fill a barrel. The survivors would be blindfolded, and their loved ones would have to guide them. The winner would go off to an island retreat for a feast with their family member. It was a tedious affair, but Pavarti ended up winning, and unsurprisingly sent Jonathan off to Exile Island. Pavarti's father then got to choose two other survivors to go to reward, and he picked Sundra and Adam.

Reward. Lots of locals, revelry, and food. Blah blah. Back at the camp, the Aitus pondered hiding the food from Adam and Pavarti since those two are a couple of lazy asses. Why should they feed the people they were competing against? So they hid their coconuts.

Heh.

But when the others came back with a bunch of food from their feast, they decided to nix the "hide the food" plan. Hah! Just as Raro had planned.

Challenge time. Jeeze we hate explaining and recapping the challenges. No one really wants to read that, right? There was swimming, platforms, sticks, and keys. Ozzy won. That boy is part monkey and part dolphin.

Back at camp it was obvious from the uncomfortable silences that would break out every time Jonathan appeared that people still didn't like him, including some of his supposed "alliance." Adam meanwhile tried to sweet talk Yul into voting out Jonathan instead of him, since he was the obvious next choice.

Tribal council. Adam yammered on about Jonathan and his lack of integrity, and nothing irks us more than stupid "Survivor" players who talk about "intergrity" and "honesty" and all that crap. It's a GAME, and the point is to win. It's not to make friends. You can't win by being everybody's friend. So get off that high horse, Adam, and we hope you break an ankle in the process.

But, alas, we aren't playing the game, and Johnathan ended up getting voted out by everyone, including Yul. Seems he did it to make the jury happy, and he thinks a happy jury will be more likely to vote for him should he make it to the final two. We sure hope he doesn't live to regret that decision, as he's our only local hope left for reality fame!