The Warriors: Thank you Spurs, May We Have Another

What a stinking dog of a putrid rotting corpse of a disgusting disgrace of an abomination of a disgrace of a debacle of a sham of a fraud of a spectacle of a sham of an embarrassment. Or something like that. How else to describe the Warriors recent sleepwalk through Texas.

On Monday night, the San Antonio Spurs spanked the tribe like a teenager's monkey, 129-89; just 24 hours later, the Houston Rockets piled on and beat the living tar out of them, 118-90 -- neither game was as close as the scores would indicate.

Remember all the way back to the first week of the season? The Warriors waltzed in to Dallas full of swagger and energy and broke the Mavericks down like they was a cardboard box on recycling day. Barely cracked a sweat. In the next couple of weeks they went on to topple the Pistons, Jazz, and Spurs (all at home) to push their record to a surging 9-5.

That was then.

We think it was either Santayana or Benoit Benjamin who first impaled themselves upon the jagged, intellectual teeth of this timeless hardwood saw: Is it better for a team to pull off spectacular upsets of the highest NBA magnitude or to take care of business at home and against lesser teams that they should beat and thereby gain solid footing toward a playoff position?

It's now a full week into December and the Warriors are still sitting on nine wins. Well, they would be sitting on nine wins if their collective ass wasn't hurting so bad from the Texas-sized whuppins they just received from the Spurs and Rockets.

Before heading out to Texas for their beheading, the Warriors dropped two close homes that they should have won. First, they blew a fourth quarter lead against the Indiana Pacers, seemed to have the game won about five different times in the final three minutes, then got shivved right in the spleen by a buzzer-beating bodkin from Stephen Jackson. They followed up with another final stanza choke job against the 5-10 Milwaukee Bucks, stumbling home scoreless in the final three minutes for a distressing 115-110 loss. Both games seemed to reveal a blueprint for beating this small-ball Warriors club: rope-a-dope. In both games, the Warriors came out smoking for three quarters, then seemed to lose interest, lose focus, and just plain lose it. After going Ali on the hardwood ropes for most the game, both the Pacers and the Bucks perked up for the fourth quarter and took advantage of the punched-out Warriors.

Back to those Texas-sized ass whuppins. Both games raised the awful specter of Warriors seasons past -- no defense and no frontcourt presence.

One key statistic for both games was rebounds. Teams like the Spurs and Rockets will do well in the playoffs because they have frontcourt presence. The Warriors? Not so much. San Antonio outrebounded the War's 51-34 and the Rockets outripped them 52-35. We know it's a broken record, but small-ball can be stopped, especially by bigger teams that play an effective half court game.

The Warriors have no half court game and until they get one, they will continue to be pounded by teams that do. Oh sure, they'll catch superior half court teams on the closing end of a back-to-back, or the last game of a five-game West Coast road trip, or without one of their star players, and pull off an upset here and there, but over the course of an 82-game season, the universe tends to unfold as it should -- and with their current configuration and game plan, that ain't good for the Warriors.

Then there's the distressing tale of the road. Thus far, the Warriors are 1-5 on the road, including three absolutely horrendous losses (Denver, San Antonio, Houston). Last year, they managed only 13 road wins and this year looks like more of the same. To be successful in the NBA, you have to be able to win a few games on the road. We'll add "Do better on the road" to the team's list of New Year's resolutions.

If you're looking for a silver lining in the Texas fade, good luck. Actually there were a couple of good things. Baron Davis got lots of rest (because garbage time started at about 5:00 minutes into the first quarter of each game), Anthony Roberson had a career-high 21 points against the Spurs, and first round bench warmer Patrick O'Bryant got some garbage PT -- and didn't look half bad. It still boggles our mind that coach Don Nelson is willing to give NBA journeymen like Matt Barnes and Keith McLeod and inexperienced guards like Roberson and Monta Ellis plenty o' court time, but steadfastly refuses to give seven-foot first round pick POB any kind of discernible role with the team. Those guys are solid players, and Monta could be a true star in this league, but what does it say about the Warriors front office when their last two number one draft picks are riding pine in favor of the second round express?

Did Nellie learn nothing from his predecessor? Pundits are giving credit to Nelson for the meteoric rise of Warriors big Andris Biedrins this year, but that makes no sense whatsoever to us. Since when has Nellie ever been known for his work with big men? The only thing Nelson has done to help develop Biedrins is to let him play. If former coach Mike Montgomery had given Biedrins this much PT, he might still have his job. And yet, here we have Nellie shackling POB to the bench, dead last in the depth chart behind even Adonal Foyle. We guess POB is faring better than last year's number one pick, Ike Diogu, who is getting no PT, allegedly because of an ankle injury. That's crap. Diogu is in Nellie's doghouse -- along with Zarko Cabarkapa, who is out with an injury known as Cantreboundatosis or Doghousious Nellicanus -- and who knows when he'll see the light of day again.

Nelson has brought energy and change to the team, but he has also brought his usual baggage, including pet peeves, favoritism, stubbornness, and of course, small-ball. Worst of all, he seems intent on playing his team in panic mode (huge minutes, short rotations, incredibly small lineups, constant change) all season long. That kind of coaching is fine if your team has no big men or is really burdened with injuries or just needs to survive a playoff series, but the Warriors are none of those things. That's just the way Nelson coaches. And that's exactly our point -- his coaching record speaks for itself.

After one month of play, for all the spectacular upset wins, fanfare, and manufactured PR drivel, and despite playing 13 of the first 19 games at home, the Warriors' record is worse than it was at this point last year. Y'uh-oh.