American Football Spectacular: The Raiders Might Finish 2006 As Number One!

Picked Having the number one pick in the 2007 NFL Draft, that is.

After losing horrifically to the Houston Texans 23-14 in a home game where the dauntless Raider Power Mullet defense limited Yoostun to 32 yards passing yards and still lost!

-5! Negative five yards net passing yardage was what the Texans had earned at game's end. That the Raiders could not overcome such an utterly one-dimensional team is a new level of embarrassment in a season where new sub-basements of embarrassment have been breached over and over again, down and further down, like Oak Island's infamous Money Pit.

Luckily, few had to withstand this game since the local TV coverage was blacked out. Those Raider fans of you who went to this game; American Football Spectacular salutes your stolidness and your dedication to the Silver And Black in these painful times.

Now that this game has passed to its end, the Raiders are in a two horse race with those hapless Detroit Lions for the first overall pick in the 2007 NFL Draft.

Sportswriters just looove being able to trot out devastating statistics about recent Detroit results as a way of publicly repudiating (former 49er and Raider linebacker) Matt Millen's regrettable mismanagement of a once proud team. Like how the Lions have the NFL's worst record over the last six years at 23 and 69. Ugh. So horrendously squirm-inducing is that stat, it's like watching Fear Factor on TV or an Evil Dead movie.

Incidentally, Evil Dead writer/director Sam Raimi is from the Detroit area. Now he helms the Spiderman movie franchise. Well, then -- we suppose successful franchises are possible from Detroit after all!

Other folks can recap the HOU/OAK game. Let them. We're looking ahead to break down the last four weeks of the season for the Lions and the Raiders. Who will be #1?

Between the two squads' strengths, you could make one actual team: Detroit has Mad Mike Martz's Greatest Show On Turf spread offense, and Oakland has Rob Ryan's aforementioned Power Mullet D. On the other side of the ball, both teams are inept, with the Detroit defense allowing the third most points per game this season, and the Raiders turning to www.firejohnshoop.com to run their offense for the remainder of the season.

Hoo-boy, it's tough out there for Raider and Lion fans. On to their remaining schedules:

* Oakland = @CIN; STL; KC; @NYJ

* Detroit = MIN; @GB; CHI; @DAL

After being beaten up by the Bengals in Cincinnati in Week 14, the Raiders will play their most winnable remaining game of the year at home against the up-and-down-and-whuh? STL Rams.

Unfortunately, the last two games of the season will be versus Kyle's suddenly sprawling Chiefs and the suddenly wily Jets -- two teams who will be fighting tooth-and-nail towards playoff berths at season's end.

As for Detroit, their final four games include a tour through their NFC North peers (MIN; @GB; CHI). The games against the Vikings and the Packers may be very winnable, due to the pure inconsistency of all three of the teams involved.

The last two games may be winnable as well. Da Bearss have already wrapped up the NFC North division title. Dallas is two games ahead of any of their NFC East foes. If either CHI or DAL puts their game in cruise control and plays second-stringers against Detroit, the Lions may have a shot at snatching a win with their offense.

Thusly, with the Lions sporting a situationally weaker slate of opponents in their remaining games, the Raiders do have a legitimate chance of emerging from the 2006 NFL season as number one in something other than least total offensive yards per game.

Next up on your American Football Spectacular: Recapping the 49ers' Week 13 contribution to helping the Gulf Coast recover from Hurricane Katrina. You yourself should give here at give.org.