It's Thursday-- Do You Know Where Your Football Team Is?
Announcer: Alright, everyone and welcome to the Feud!
On one side, we have the City of San Francisco and their team leader Gavin Newsom. Newsom likes policy papers, international conferences, and blondes. On the other side we have the Yorks, led by their team leader, John York. York likes medical books, carpet samples, and being cheap! Well, everyone, come on down!
Richard Dawson: (after kissing Brittany Mountz and Denise Debartolo-York on the cheek) Okay, welcome to the feud everyone and here is the first question-- what is the best time to negotiate with one city while negotiating with another?
Newsom: Ah, we'll go with not while negotiating with San Francisco.
York: We're going to have to go with while negotiating with San Francisco, Richard.
Richard Dawson: Okay, next question: does saying you need a backup plan mean you're bailing or does it mean we're kinda, sorta thinking about moving if things fall through?
Newsom: Well, obviously it means we're going to stay and work at things. After all, we're in the ninth inning here and what York did was go for the field goal instead of going for the touchdown.
York: Well, could we BE more clear? We were taking soil samples with big huge signs saying "49ers Want to Play Here."
Dawson: Okay, now let's move into our final round, Cool or Not cool. So here we go-- If negotiating with one city while negotiating with another city and you try and keep it quiet, is that cool or not cool?
Newsom: I would say that's uncool, it's duplicitous. See, I know big words
York: I would say that's a smart business move, something I know all about considering I married into a really wealthy family
Dawson: Giving out free tickets to Santa Clara politicians: cool or not cool
Newsom: That's uncool. Have you seen how many non-sell outs the team has been having?
York: They weren't to a game in SF, but to Seattle. See, it's different. The guy had to fly out to the game. It's not the same.
Dawson: Well, okay. We asked the members of the studio audience for their feelings on this and after careful deliberation, the studio audience has voted for nobody winning. That is correct. We have no winner on this. Better luck next time.
And next on the Feud? Chris Daly vs. the San Francisco Police Department. That should be a real humdinger.?