American Football Spectacular: Accounts Of Explosiveness Considered And Debunked.

* Arizona vs. Oakland
Sunday, October 22, 2006. 1:15 PM, PST.
Week 07
The Battle Of The Passed-Over

One could hardly imagine a battle between two teams more emotionally hamstrung than this week's matchup between our haggard Raiders and the despondent Arizona American football Cardinals.

In Week Six, The Raiders hung in there as best they could against the vastly favored Denver Broncos. And I'm-a say it: there was some opportunity for the Raiders to steal this game. Seriously. OAK began with a healthy amount of running and dictated tempo when they had the ball. There was some horrific playcalling -- like calling for wide toss-out running plays against a Denver defense whose chief feature is their three excellent quickquickquick linebackers: Gold, Wilson, and DJ. There was some horrific decision-making on offense as well, like on a early 3rd down when Andrew Walter threw long to a double-covered Randy Moss when a wide-open RB LaMont Jordan would've sufficed for the first down. Result? A missed field goal.

To their credit, the OAK defense hung tight against the toothless Bronco cut-blocking offense. Jake Plummer couldn't get rhythm, the malicious Bronco run scheme found no purchase against the front seven Silver & Black. Thusly, anchored by some excellent play by Warren Sapp, the Oakland D kept the score tighter than they could have previously hoped.

Here's where, like any Law And Order episode, the story starts to follow a familiar well-worn course. The starting Raider right tackle, Langston Walker, sustained a head injury and had to sit for the rest of the game. His replacement, Chad Slaughter... well, bless his heart, Chad tried. By the end of the game, Slaughter had been rung up for seven (SEVEN!) false start penalties, and got beat by speedy rookie DE Elvis Dumervil for a sack.

After another disheartening false start, John Madden said "This is embarrasing. Ol' Chad Slaughter, y'know, puts Andrew Walter in some tough positions."

And so it was. Each Oakland advance was backbit by the classic Raiders' problems: penalties, foolish offensive play-calling schemes, and a marked lack of team urgency. The game was still within reach! Fight, men, fight! we shouted at the television. Never has a ten point lead seemed so secure. Denver players were laughing on the sidelines like they were up by thirty points. The disappointing loss left poor LaMont pounding his fists into the sideline turf, literally screaming out his frustration after his fumble on the last OAK drive ended the Raider scoring threat. He truly does care! (See the video on YouTube here.) Alas, LaMont. If only his passion could be enabled by the whole of the Raider organization. The whole scene stank of squandered talent, and chances botched. There was a window within which the Raiders could have seized this game, and they did not.

Speaking of missed windows, the 2006 trading deadline passed us by on Tuesday and the Raiders did nothing about that either. Still on the roster are the suspended Jerry Porter and the obliquely complaining Moss. Now we've got both of these fools stuck on a ferociously underperforming team as their resale value ticks down by another year. A woeful display by the Raider front office. Er, and by that, of course, we mean Al. At this point, anything other than a complete clearing of the front office and coaching ranks before the 2007 season with be considered a failure. Until then, signing with the Raiders would be a fool's errand for any NFL player. The darkness deepens each week for our Oakland Raiders, and here at American Football Spectacular, we're frustrated as hell at OAK's inability to compete. Regime change now, for sake of the Raider Nation. But that'll never happen, so the protracted death rattle of the Raider philosophy will linger on all season long through in the laughter of Oakland's opponents.

And so, into Oakland this week slink the Arizona American football Cardinals. Sportswriters have been tabbing them as a sleeper breakout team for three years running. And they've consistently underperformed. Like the Raiders, they are larded with talent, and like the Raiders, their talent is not being harnessed! Last Monday in Phoenix, the Cardinals had a huge lead that they'd built on the powerful Chicago Bears. And they choked the game away. The Cards allowed the Bears to get back into the game with two shocking defensive touchdowns and a punt return for touchdown. Afterwards, Coach Dennis Green blew a gasket in the press room. (Look for it on YouTube, it's pretty entertaining in a carcrash way.) This collection of talent and bad uniforms now come here to Oakland for Week Seven. Previously, AFS had not considered the ARI/OAK matchup to be one that the Raiders could take. But now? Now, the Cardinals are vulnerable. We could take them.

But can the Raiders' running game get any points with the tip of their spear blunted? LaMont's back is hurt and he's listed as probable. Second-stringer Justin Fargas' shoulder is hurt, and he's listed as questionable. So who does that leave us with? Adimchinobe Echemandu? Gesundheit. Who, what? Oh. Well, uh, as CNNSI helped clarify, Echemandu is a practice squad RB guy from Cal who'll get some carries backing up battering-ram FB Zack Crockett, who looks to be the main running back this Sunday.

The Cards' strength is in their "skill players" on offense. Three great young WRs get fed by USC's Matt Leinart, who takes the QB reigns from battered ol' Kurt Warner. One of the league's better all-around running backs, Edgerrin James, is newly signed and in the backfield. Yet for all these glittering gems, you can't do a damn thing on offense without an average offenive line, and the Arizona offensive line is CRAP. Our Raider D-line should be able to reach the rookie Leinart by that path. Unleash Derrick Burgess!

Of Matt Leinart, the Raiders had a shot at this decorated SoCal QB in the 2006 draft. He was on the board when they had their pick, but the Raiders chose to pass him over in favor of Texas DB Michael Huff. Taking a defensive player instead of a QB means that Al trusts Walter as the Oakland quarterback of the future. Huff's team beat Leinart's team for the NCAA National Championship. And this wknd, their paths cross again at The Coliseum.

Speaking of which, the dutiful and attractive SFist Editor Jon already covered the debunking of the bomb threats made against the NFL stadiums this past week. Some 20-year-old Wisconsin grocery store clerk dude posted on the internets that terrorists were going to detonate "dirty" radioactive material-based bombs at NFL sites around the nation this wknd, including here in sweet Oakland.
The Associated Press reported, quote, "that the man acknowledged posting the phony stadium threat as part of a 'writing duel' with a man from the Brownsville, Texas, area to see who could post the scariest threat."

"I don't think it was put out there to be real," said FBI agent Linda Krieg in Milwaukee, as quoted by CBS News. "Whoever put it out there is not in a position to actually carry through on it."

Yeah, in the meantime between the threat and the debunking, we had worked up (within about, oh, five minutes) a bunch of headlines to possibly use for this Week Seven's preview that you're currently reading. Though now they don't apply, here they are:

* Increased Actual Chance Of Having A Blast In Oakland This Sunday

* Silver And BLAM

Anyways, there's no actual threat anymore, but it might've made it easier to score tickets to this game. Assuming, of course, that you'd want to see such a thing. This game will not be pretty. The loser will sink further than their fanbase could have previously imagined. The winner will glean a grim victory over a gaunt foe. Those who witness this game must be built of stern stuff, for this will not be a contest conducted in good spirits. It's mirthless mid-season work for two underperforming ill-steered franchises.

* San Francisco vs. Bye Week
Sunday, October 22, 2006.
Week 07
The Battle Of The Weak Link

Our Niners, after being swatted about by the San Diego Chargers last week, go into the bye week with pursed lips and furrowed brows. What can be improved, and how? The San Francisco pass rush, again, did not materialize, even against SD's patchwork offensive line. They had a rookie left tackle, for goodness' sake! Does it have to be spelled out where to attack?! So, the Chargers made mincemeat of the 49er secondary. QB Philip Rivers didn't receive any real pressure, he was able to carve apart the Niner D with relative ease for a man in his profession.

On offense, our Niners scored more points than any other team had against the #1 defense in the league. Of course, SD has been playing no-so-good offensive franchises so far, but shhh, let them have their moment. Our QB Alex Smith demonstrated poise and made some passes we didn't think he had in him, even as he was cast about by the ravening Charger front.

But the Niners sure's heck couldn't hang with the Chargers' offense, and the score got rung up as SD Coach Marty Schottenheimer left his starters in to continue to ring up points when the game was far past won. That's fine, Marty, it's not like you're making it to the playoffs. Enjoy your bullying now, jerk.

So, now, the bye week and rest. Which means work on what needs working on. Like here: the 49ers must stop the 3rd down conversion. San Diego made twelve out of fifteen! This is a horrific result. So what must change?

"We were exposed on defense," Coach Nolan II said Monday to the Chronicle. "We certainly have a difficult time stopping the pass. The problems on defense are collective. It falls on the coaches' and the players' shoulders."

How this will be embodied will materialize in Chicago on October 29 against Da Bearss. As previously mentioned, the CHI offense was shut down by the middling-at-best Cardinals last week, so how may they be properly confounded by our Niners? What is the answer for the defensively-minded Nolan? Assuming greater risk by sending more blitzers? Considering the dearth of personnel the Niners are working with on D, rolling the dice and being far more aggro may be the only switch left to flip, as the current ways sure aren't getting anything done.

Other things are doing OK. The offense continues to make unexpected strides. The special teams are passable, despite Dante Hall's punt return TD. We did get that punt block from our first-round pick Manny Lawson and that felt nice. The run defense has been smothering, holding KC's LJ when it mattered, and limiting SD's LT as best as could be expected. It's just that pass defense and attendant pass rush where things have been blicky. Must reach quarterback. Must pressure quarterback. Must, or else, more of the same on 3rd down. And that'd suck.

So, in the Windy City in about a week, we will see what adjustments Nolan and crew will implement. It can't be worse than twelve out of fifteen on 3rd down. It can't. Vee shall see.

Next up on your American Football Spectacular: Still somewhat guilty about that whole Raider headline thing. It'll be OK eventually.