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Libation Liberation: Diary of a Happy "Hour"
5:50 Show up. See empty bar. Regret not researching choice of happy hour locations. Buy first of two expensive drinks and lament our penchant for alcohol. Consider taking up a new hobby so we could at least save some money for once.
5:59 Buy second of two expensive drinks, wonder where all the people who drink at this bar are, also where are our friends supposedly meeting us there.
6:12 Friends show up. They wonder where all the people are.
7:15 Hang out at the back of extremely dark bar. Listen to George Jones playing from bartender's iPod, insult best friend's mother.
7:38 Look around and further wonder where all the people who purportedly come for "happenin'" DJ night.
7:51 Inhale two spring rolls purchased from Tu Lan across the street.
8:12 DJ still hasn't arrived. Get tired of the bartender's cheap rockabilly mix, approach him to ask what's the deal with the empty bar. Says they follow the DJ from a different bar down the street.
8:15 Leave to seek out better crowd.
SFist Nico contributing
8:21 Stop for old-fashioned's at a dirty but cheap donut shop in the Tenderloin.
8:24 Give away 3 donut holes to a homeless man who apologizes for the A's crappy performance that day.
8:29 Embarrass ourselves by erupting into three-part a capella version of Peter Cetera's Glory of Love.
8:32 Make our way into the Hemlock, our favorite old standby.
8:35 Feast on hot peanuts, washed down with either fantastic Racer-5's or not quite so fantastic well vodka-tonics.
9:05 Ruminate on the 8-foot-long plastic marlin hanging on chains from the ceiling.
9:12 Discuss the landscape oil-painting with taxidermy deer head sticking out of the middle.
9:35 Try to determine who the local band is tuning up in the Hemlock's back room. Figure they're "up and coming" local "talent".
9:46 Notice the size of the crowd that now fills the bar at quarter to ten on a Wednesday night. Wonder, don't these people have jobs?
10:12 Hear earsplitting distortion coming from back room. Decide the band isn't "talent" after all and attempt to shout a conversation with person next to us.
10:20 Can't hear my own voice. Go outside to dial an old girlfriend from Seattle.
10:21 Think better of it. Go back inside to get last drink, realize I've spent all my cash and how, goddammit, the Hemlock doesn't take plastic. Decide not to get ripped-off by the swipe ATM machine. Return to table to finish up conversations.
10:38 Depart. See bus pass by without me. Curse gods of public transportation, attempt to reconcile—with no avail.
10:58 Bus comes, ride back our apartment wishing we didn't have to work so early.