Last week's winner: The East Bay Express. What? No letters about Cody's? Fret not -- there's an article. (We had no idea the reason why there's no books on the shelves there now is because they were behind on their bills!) Also -- neighbors rat out neighbors for loud parties and for opening day-care centers. Cover: Fat acceptance movement (medical, civil rights, artistic, online). Good article, which makes the no fatties cartoon running later in the issue seem a little weird. Peruvian food in Richmond. The Ivy Room closes down this week, and their rants column "Haters Stand Up," about annoying fans of "conscious rap." And Savage Love says it's wrong to take advantage of polyamorists.

Next up, the San Jose Metro: Annalee says at least Bush has made the Daily Show funny. Interview with "Democracy Now"'s Amy Goodman. Looks have only taken SJ mayor Ron Gonzales so far. Cover: people who hate blogging mothers. The article isn't as interesting as we thought it would be, unfortunately, even though it talks about sex and also infighting between women. We're kind of bummed about that. Korean food in Santa Clara. Interview with Molly Ringwald (in SJ to star in "Sweet Charity"). Five good Twilight Zone episodes. Too many music list articles. And SFist Eve's horoscope: her symbol this week is a 300 pound 22 karat gold bathtub in Japan.

After the jump -- your West Bay Weeklies! Also: the weekly of the week.

The SF Weekly: SFist Jackson writes the Weekly to thank them for calling him "cute." That's so cute! Matt Smith on doping at the Olympics. Apologisting for HP. The zine Clamor's getting threats of lawsuits from American Apparel! Cover: DJ Shadow goes hyphy (hyphy hyphy hyphy hyphy hyphy). Bitch magazine reading at Modern Times at 7 tonight (someone you know may be reading.) Meredith Brody thinks Valencia between 16th and 17th is "scuzzy" in parts (Ced liked it, though.) And the LoveParade is coming back -- was it Eminem who said "nobody listens to techno" (isn't that the part in the video where Obie Trice stomps Moby? Too bad Moby rhymes so conveniently with Obie, huh?)

And the Guardian: The pullout for Bay Area food fell out when we opened our SFBG. We calculate that Tim Redmond is... 49 years old (he was 6 when JFK was shot.... carry the 1... = 49. Can we have a big 50th birthday party for Tim Redmond soon?) Krissy Keefer urges you to vote yes on J (impeach Bush and Cheney). Who wants to pay for automatic shutoff valves for gas lines in the event of an earthquake? Probably not District 7 voters. Cover article: interview about local food. East Oakland rapper Beeda Weeda (he got the name because he used to hang with Peeda Weeda.) Local (and non-Japanese) metal band Totimoshi. Big Star tribute band plays 12 Galaxies tonight. And L.E. Leone tries to get a girlier voice.

And the Weekly of the Week goes to..... ehhh, we can't do it. Like the Harvey Milk Club for District 8, we're voting No Recommendation this week. No, there is no conspiracy helmed by either Robert Haaland or Steven T. Jones behind this decision!