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If we were to name our column again, we'd go with "the SFist on the table" or Get ur food on or whatever witticism we did not come up with when we settled on Gastronomique. Snacks on a plate? We'd try to convey what we attempt to do: inform and show off our camera phone food pictures and maybe squeeze in a joke here and there. We assume that restaurant owner face the same conundrum, trying to achieve the right balance in how they name their place.
Some go boring: pick the address, and voila, Campton Place, Hawthorne Lane, etc. Some go eponymous, which rhymes with non-adventurous, pompous and presumptuous: Gary Danko, Michael Mina. Some think too much, and pick up names which mean goblet in Latin, or shut your mouth in French, leaving the hard work to the PR firm to clean up the mess and explain it really, really means tranquil. There's been a trend for the one syllable punchy food-related words (fork, spoon, sauce, home, chow, grub, lime, the now defunct dine or bite), ideal for the ADD afflicted MTV generation. Hopefully we're out of that trend, since this is paragraph two, and we haven't finished making our initial point. And then there is the placed named after the touristy landmarks for the corresponding cuisine: taj mahal, or Angkor Borei, or brisas de acapulco. Add to the mystique of the location by associating the exoticism of the cooking with that of remote locations.
We find the Palace Steakhouse fit in this last category: any palace evocation is very remote. Like, say Shalimar, the name here is only a door to an alternate universe of elegance and royalty. The place is thoroughly anchored in a reality which is definitely non-palatial. Versailles it is not, and no one will confuse the stairs to the ladies' bathroom with the marble stairs in the Great Gatsby's mansion.
It is so un-palace-like that a smart-assy SF band named themselves the Palace Family Steak House in order to make an ironic statement. We won't pass along our assessment of their music, in exchange for not reproducing their cheeky lyrics about the restaurant. Let's plug their next show nonetheless, as it is free: Sept. 21st at grant and green.
Not to say the decor is not friendly and inviting. It is just warmer and cozier than your run-of-the-mill mansion, and easier on the heating bill: there are flags hanging from the ceiling, and cow tchotchkes museum: cow signs in flower pots, cow posters on the walls, cow trinkets on the counter, cows everywhere, just like on old McDonald's farm.
The only thing that is palatial, and more valuable in SF than a mere galerie des glaces is free parking, right around the corner from the restaurant. A guaranteed parking spot is as good as a kingdom in our book. And the other royal thing: they are Best of the Bay '06 winners, just like us!
Service at the Palace is a far cry from what you'd receive if you were a true queen, not just the SF kind. For one thing, when we visited, the whole place was manned by two people, a cook and a cashier/waitress. They work hard, in a grumpy-yet-efficient manner, but it is not frou-frou service. The Palace Steakhouse has been around over 30 years and they looked like they had been there the whole time. Well, most everything looked like it has been there the whole time. Part of the appeal of the Palace is that it is a consistent experience.
We ordered at the counter which separates the dining room from the kitchen, pushing our cafeteria-like orange plastic tray. We put our salad on the tray and a wine glass. We were brought a liter of burgundy in a bottle, for $11. The wine list also includes bottles, of such refined vintages as two buck chuck. We sat in a cool booth with vinyl seats. The seat and the tables were a bit sticky, but it's part of the charm. It is a bit rough around the edges, but oh so worth it. A few minutes later, we were brought our entrees.
We had the t-bone steak, with a baked potato and a garlic roll in addition to the fresh salad. For $12.40, this cannot be beat. It was a large steak on the bone, cooked as asked, medium rare, and tasty enough. One dining companion had the rib-eye steak ($10.69), which was a bit drier and tougher cut than ours, but decent nonetheless. We did not sample the NY steak ($9.69) but here are the quotes we got from those who did:
--"the ribeye was small but very tasty; best medium-rare sear job i've seen in quite some time -- better than the medium rare I got at Harris'. And the garlic bread was even better! "
--"if you were going to plan a bank robbery, that's the place to do it."
Totally, so true. Some of the other customers actually looked like they had robbed a bank or two in their youth. So if you are a bank robber, a hipster wishing to make an ironic comment on steak houses, a family with kids looking for a place which tolerates some amount of unruliness, or you are in need of supplementing your diet with iron on the cheap, or just looking for a no frill steak that hits the spot, the Palace Steakhouse is the place for you.
Palace Steak House
3047 Mission St @Cesar Chavez
tel: 647-2011
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Although I've lived within walking distance to the Palace for years, I've never gone. I may have to take my Dad there. He likes non fancy places where you stand in line with a tray and get large portions, and the beef factor will also appeal.
"Support Your Local Steakhouse"
(just don't order the fried chicken. ew.)
I must point out that they are a local steak house and locals are an endangered species in SF and should not be killed for food.