Total number of people pictured in this week's Swells: 55.

Number of pictured people whose names we recognize: 1 (Gavin Newsom's sister).

Minority count: 7 (about 15%, and not counting the Egyptian mummy).

Getty v. Traina: 2-2. (counting Gavin Newsom's sister as a Getty; counting the anonymous person who claimed to be Trevor Traina as a Traina.)

Number of receding male hairlines: 16.

Number of non-receding male hairlines: 5.

Number of hats: 2.

Numbers in the text: $265 (cost of a Getty shoe); 300 (not the number of pairs of shoes owned by Danielle Steel); $3,286 (auction price for a letter by Caruso); $0 (auction price for the first edition of the social register San Francisco City Directory); 350 (weight in pounds of the new sarcophagus at Specs).

Number of iguanas: 1.