SFist: SFist in the Kitchen: Dinner Parties

Tea

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 23:17:58 -0800

I am still laughing over the "vegetarian-except-for-bacon-and-sushi-and-sometimes-a-big-fat-steak" line. Too true, my favorite vegan used to beg nibbles of salami when we went backpacking together. The List is a stroke of genius, not anal at all. The spreadsheet of your friends' food likes and dislikes however . . . Actually, it's terribly thoughtful and kind of you. I'll never forget inviting a friend over for a multi-course Greek meal only to have him tell me, on arrival, that he hates tomatoes. They were in every dish I had made. Now I ask for likes, dislikes, and allergies when I extend the invitation. I sound paranoid when I do it, but it's easier in the long run. Great post, thanks!

Derrick Schneider

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 14:03:16 -0800

MB, You're wiser than I; I retain that "must be a perfect host" impulse, even in the face of picky guests. Melissa and I keep a spreadsheet of all our friends' likes and dislikes as we learn them. But I do agree that a vegetarian owes the host a heads-up that they're vegetarian. Because otherwise, that's just mean. El Greco, I actually really like the idea of going to a vegetarian's house and announcing that I have to have meat at the last minute. But that's just my mischievous streak. But your comment brings up a good point. People often get nervous about cooking for us, because we're so into food. But as you say, if you've taken the time to prepare food and host me in your home, you've already won. We go to dinner to enjoy company and eat good food, not pick it apart and complain about this or that.

el Greco

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 13:30:11 -0800

Anyone who is that damn picky about food that someone else has lovingly prepared for them...should stay at home. Do I go to your house and say "oh, gosh, I have to have meat, sorry I forgot to tell you?"

MB

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 11:52:34 -0800

I used to take the time to ask guests if they had any food issues. Most of the time I'd get the standard, "Oh, we eat anything" only to see those same people later picking out tiny diced peppers from a salad or leaving their peas on the side of the plate. Now, I figure, if the issue is that important, it's up to the guests to tell me when they accept the invitation (not as the food is being dished out). Any vegetarian who accepts an invitation without reminding the host they don't eat meat deserves to watch while everyone else eats their steaks.

Derrick Schneider

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 11:39:51 -0800

Mary, Oh, that's a bad guest. I'm always, well not happy, but willing to accommodate eating quirks, but sheesh, the guest has some burden of responsibility as well. And yes, the bowls are super-cute. Melissa bought me a zillion one Christmas, and I use them heavily.

Mary Ladd

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 11:11:55 -0800

Making a meat based meal for someone that turns out to be a vegetarian is indeed panic inducing. I made baked ham, mashed potatoes, green beans and ham gravy. I assembled four plates and brought them out to the table. My thin, East Coast cousin smiled and said calmly with a laugh, "Oh, I don't eat meat. Sorry, I should've told you." Ya think?? The List is a great idea-it starts with the shopping and gets one through the entire prep and cooking. And who doesn't love those little glass bowls? So cute and handy.

Derrick Schneider

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 11:10:40 -0800

D'oh! Oh, that must've hurt. I might revert to nervous breakdowns if that happened to me. I'm sure she liked the souffle cake, at least!

Marc Hedlund

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 10:58:23 -0800

I use The List, too. Last winter, I made a lovely Fatted Calf "Porchetta" roast, a spinach and bacon salad, potato leek soup with chicken stock base, and a fallen chocolate souffle cake for my friends Jason and Jane. Right after I dumped the bacon onto the salad, Jason asked, "You remember that Jane's a vegetarian, right?" The next morning, my wife altered The List: "7:15p - take roast from oven. 7:16p - remember that Jane is a vegetarian, panic. 7:17p - completely lose shit." The List is great. But some things, even The List can't save.