Your San Francisco Giants Are Looking For a Few Good Men. Hopefully With Power
Remember that "Seinfeld" episode where Jerry realizes that no matter what happens, he will always break even? It's the great episode where George decides to do the opposite of everything he normally would do and winds up having great luck but Elaine winds up having a horrible run of bad luck and destroys Pendant Publishing because she can't stop eating jujyfruit and can't open her mouth in time to save everyone. And because all of this, Jerry realizes that no matter what happens to everyone else, he'll always stay the same. Well, that's pretty much summing up the Giants this year. No matter what they do, they seem to be magnetically pulled towards .500. They win a few, then quickly lose a few. They pitch lights out, then get shelled. They score a bunch of runs, then slump. As the song says, "you take the good, you take the bad, and there you have a team that plays golf come October."
So then, the question becomes what is there to do about it? The trading season is a month away-- trading deadline is July 31st-- but that hasn't stopped Giants fans from wistfully looking at other teams to see just who might look good in cream-colored home jerseys.
By all general consensus, reason #1 for the Giants mildness is a lack of offense, specifically a lack of power. They are ranked twelfth in the NL in batting average, tenth in runs, and second to last in home runs. Which means looking for a big bopper.
So the Chron's Henry Schulman brought up the Jessica Alba of tradable players, Alfonso Soriano. Soriano meets all the general requirements of being slavishly desired trade bait. He's in the last year of his contract, he's playing for a team going nowhere, and he's smoking the ball. True, Soriano plays 2b and OF, two positions the Giants have plenty of, but will you look at those numbers? Plus Ray Durham just ain't getting much done this year. The problem with Soriano? First off, Sabean (smartly) likes to trade for players who have years left in their contract so they can hold onto them for a few more years. That is not the case. Also, everyone, including a certain team in New York that usually gets what they want if they want it bad enough, wants Soriano.
Now, if you look at the Giants line-up, their biggest lineup hole is-- and stop me here if you've heard this before-- at first base. Niekro has been mainly injured and Sweeney has been nothing but a good backup. Even more troublesome is that Andres Gallaraga is probably still retired and JT Snow is no longer around to inherit the job by default. So that would mean trading for a 1B. That brings us to Richie Sexson of the Mariners. He's got power, he plays first, and the Mariners ain't going nowhere. He also has a few years left of his contract. The problem? He's not hitting the ball that well (his OBP is under .300) and the M's mainly want to get rid of Adrian Beltre.
But wait, JT Snow has been released by the Red Sox. Maybe Sabean would....nevermind.
Okay, but who to trade. People ain't going to be trading people for nothing. And it appears that the Pirates and the Royals have probably learned their lesson. Well, El Lefty Malo breaks it down for everyone. Basically, everyone except for You Know Who is tradable. Whether they can be traded is another matter.
But what if they can't trade for anybody? That might, in fact, be the answer. Consider it something along the lines of Physician, Heal Thyself. If we remember, Moises Alou does play for the Giants, we just haven't seen him in awhile (has he and Barry ever been photographed together and in the same room?). And Barry could finally start be more Barry-like. Plus Neikro could get healthy and Durham could get healthy and Matheny could have some weird physical ailment caused by all of his concussions that make him able to smack the ball like the reincarnation of the Babe.
Or maybe not. Maybe the answer is just to blow the motherf------ up and start all over again?
Either way, right now this team needs help.