Top Chef: The Last Suppers

Here's a great example of why we love Stephen. Tiffani tells her new crew that she's going for an ambitious menu -- rather than simply five courses, she's doing two different dishes each course, for a total of 10. Stephen, noting that the idea is indeed ambitious, calls it "Stephen-esque." Dave has pre-prepped some dessert ideas he was going to use should he make the finals; he volunteers to give these ideas up for Tiffani's sake.

Okay, so Stephen's on board and motivated, AND it's a wine-pairing challenge to boot (Steph's a sommelier as well). And junkfood/flavah-mastah Dave has been given carte blanche to make the dessert course. Looks like Tiff just may have a winning formula.

Harold's kitchen, in the meantime, is a little quieter. He's embarrassed that Lee Anne and Mig keep calling him "Chef." He props up Miggie's "beef two ways" from the beginning of the season and says he intends to base one of his offerings on that dish.

Harold's up first. He decides to hand-write a menu rather than face the group in person--he has the wait staff serve as spies to get reactions throughout. To his credit, the menu lists Lee Anne and Miguel's names on it as well as his. He's a team player; the kind of guy with quiet leadership and decency that inspires loyalty.

First course: scallop w/blood orange and fennel, served with pino grigio. Generally positive feedback, but judges think it may have sat for too long. Keller props H's eye for presentation.

Second course: Olive-oil poached bass (served with brunello). H's worst offering by far. Show hostess Katie Lee Joel end up with a hunk of bloodline or something. Folks feel it's overcooked.

Third course: Pan-roasted quail w/spaetzel, fois gras and cherries. Some feel it's a bit overcooked; also called a "classic" combination of flavors; generally well received.

Cut to the kitchen: Harold is drinking, for the second time, from what looks to be an airplane-service-sized bottle of Bombay Sapphire gin. Stress is turning him into a tiny, little alcoholic.

Fourth course: The beef duo -- Kobe beef and braised short ribs. Very well received. Chef Tom says that this dish "respected the product."

Dessert course: A selection of cheeses served with a fig tart. Wine: amarone. They like it; Chef Keller likes the presentation on a plate that has little compartments for each cheese.

Tiffani's deal is different from the get-go. In her kitchen, she's trying to rule with an iron fist, versus H's teams quiet, effective camaraderie. Granted, fussy Dave and self-involved Stephen are probably not as suited to the line as Lee Anne and Dave. Still, she's causing a little resentment. She's trying to demand respect rather than earn it. Tiffani goes tableside to talk about each course, whereas Harold simply had a menu. She starts off her presentation with some weird statement about how her life has been all about duality lately. Gee, think she's been reading these articles here on SFist?

We should mention: it shows that Dave and Stephen were up all night drinking. What was not clear by the show, but is available if you follow up on Bravo's great Top Chef Web site is that the finals were taped in the MORNING, despite being a dinner. That means that Dave and Stephen were not only hung over and had no sleep, but were likely still drunk. Tiffani indeed had to start from a deficit.

First course: Diver scallops. Presentation "A": in squid emulsion. They love it. Presentation "B": as a crudo. The judges are rather "meh" about this one.

And therein lies the problem with her strategy -- Gail herself says it at one point; Tiffani's dishes are essentially competing with each other.

Second course: Artichokes. Presentation "A": a "risotto", which is highly, highly appreciated. Presentation "B": fried artichokes w/dipping sauce.

Third course: sea bass. Presentation "A": with ratatouille. Presentation "B": with fennel and pasta. Both were sub-par.

Fourth course: veal. Presentation "A": saltimbocca. Presentation "B": with minted peas ("a classic" she says).

Dessert course: Presentation "A": vanilla panna cotta with amaretto cocktail; Presentation "B": bread pudding. and a another cocktail (that we can't track down! Anyone out there recall?). Simply said, the judges are knocked the heck out by these desserts. Home run. Dave's in the kitchen, crying about it (shocker), since these were mostly his.

Judging: It's a tough call--Tiff's hit higher highs and lower lows. Harold's been consistently good, but less ambitious. Tiff doesn't give Dave enough credit for the dessert -- we think if she had, that'd go a long way towards giving her more points. A "Top Chef" uses his/her resources, and it didn't matter if they were Dave's recipes. Still, she can't give credit. Harold does prop his team up. The judges ask the four souse chefs who should win. All four respond "Harold." Later, during the questioning of the finalists, the judges mention this.

Tiffani and Harold go wait in the kitchen while the judges debate. Tiff makes some weird comment about how she can feel Harold's knife sticking into her back. Whu-ha? I can understand a little if she felt that way about Stephen and Dave, who worked with her on this task. But it's not like their opinions represent a betrayal on Harold's part in any way, shape or form.

The contestants are called back before the judges. They award the title of Top Chef, and the corresponding rewards, to Harold. Congratulations; he'll put the $100K into opening his restaurant in New York. Look forward to Food & Wine's July edition, which will spotlight Harold and the show. Poor Tiffani. She wanted to travel. She mentions her debt. We hope her success on the show leads to something lucrative.

Oh, and here's a major gripe: THIS was way way WAY too gratuitous -- after H is announced as the winner, Katie Lee Joel tells Tiff to "pack her knives and go home." Shoot, not even Trump tells the Apprentice runners up that they are fired once he proclaims someone "hired." We won't blame plasticine Katie Lee, we'll blame the producers, but that was CLASSLESS and showed little respect to Tiffani, who already has to deal with the ignominy of coming in second in an all-or-nothing competition.

So, there you have it -- possibly the greatest season of reality TV competition ever. Fun folks, an obsession with bowel movements, a great love-to-make-fun-of-him-but-he's-actually-pretty-cool villain, a little eye candy, some gross stuff, a little erotica, a lot of food porn, and a good choice for champion.

Cripes -- what are we supposed to do until next season?

Hells Kitchen, anyone?