We learned about sex from Judy Blume's Forever and the pr0n mags the poorly-supervised kids down the street stole out of their dad's closet. We can think of a lot -- we mean a lot -- of mistakes we would have avoided if we'd had access to a program like SexInfo, the new sex information text-messaging program launched by the San Francisco Department of Health.

The Chron breaks it down for you: apparently, the questioning young person texts "sexinfo" to (917) 957-4280 on MetroPCS phones or 36617 on other carriers. You'll get a response text (in "teen-friendly text message lingo") asking you to clarify your question, kind of like in those 20 questions toys. Eventually, you'll either get a response to your question or recieve a number to call for more information.

We're neither teen-friendly nor not in a sexual situation at the moment, but that doesn't mean that we can't give this a shot. So, we enter "sexinfo" (no, we do not mean "sewing") into our Cingular phone , and send it to 36617. And we wait. And wait. We check our "sent" messages to see if it went through -- it did.

7 minutes later we get this:

SEXINFO: reply with code 4 answrs. "A1" if ur condom broke "B2" if u think ur pregnant "C3" to find out about STDs "D4" to find out about HIV. More ?'s txt "Q5".

OK, we're definitely a "Q5." Three minutes later:

SEXINFO: txt "E5" if you need 2 talk now. "F6" if she or he's cheating on u.."F8" if ur not sure u want to have sex. More ?'s reply "Q9"

We're digging this. Q9 it is.

SEXINFO: txt "E9" if ur sexually active, "F10" if someone's hurting u. "E7" if u think u might b gay. "G11" if you need a place to stay.

Hmm. Guess we'll go with E9

E9 SEXINFO: b smart. use condoms. get STD checkups every 6 months, and talk 2 ur partner about sex. tell 'em what u like + what you don't. have fun + stay safe.

OK, so we never got to ask our question (we had decided on "Can anal sex cause pregnancy?" Guess we'll never know), but we did get a lot of options for help, and a somewhat sex-positive ("have fun") message.

In a world where even our beloved Target is taking a conservative bent towards our reproductive health, we can't diss the San Francisco Department of Public Health for jumping into the multiply choppy waters of sexually active youth and text messaging. And if we ever need a place to stay, it's "G11" all the way.