Top Chef: At the Pork End Of The Street
Yes, folks, that is literally the worst headline ever -- at least until next week. Our horrible headlines are the latest in SFist's effort to induce you to watch what is possibly the greatest reality TV contest show ever, since Ah-nold's Running Man is but a science fiction. The winner of Top Chef gets all sorts of cool crap; read our recaps of the first several episodes here, here, and here. This week, we review the episode that premiered last week in hopes you'll watch the brand new one tonight. Stands to reason that a good viewership could keep this great San Francisco-based show going for another season.
Down to six chefs, and everyone must be tasting the possibility of victory -- and it's their taste that's challenged for this week's quickfire/immunity challenge. Guest judge Chef Mike Yakura of Le Colonial lays out the challenge -- identify 20 exotic ingredients while blindfolded within five minutes. Nobody seems real happy with their performance, but Andrea wins! So much for our prognostication; we thought she'd be gone this week.
Truthfully, without immunity, she might have been.
Did we mention that Stephen's a bloody prat? Quote of the episode from Snidely Whiplash: "I'm always in the top 3 percentile of whatever I do." Yeah, great, you jerkoff. Did you know that 24% of all statistics are made up? Also in this episode, Andrea mentions that she is "the antithesis of everything he [Stephen] is." Hey, 'drea -- does that mean you're in the bottom 3 percentile of everything you do? We doubt it. Despite her over-focus on all things involving bowel motions, we quite like Andrea. Not a very appealing chef, but as a dietician she seems, to, er, know her sh**.
Okay, on with the recap. This week's real challenge: fuse two culinary cultures into street food, which they will serve out at a Mission BART stop in teams of two. But first: "The Fat-Ass Snackmaster Challenge," a junkfood version of the quickfire challenge the contestants cooked up themselves for fun. Miguel (a.k.a. "Chunk la Funk," apparently) versus Dave (no nickname). Miggy pulls it out.
(Photo of Lee Anne and Snidely's dish from Bravo's Web site, details below)
Aside: We love Chef Tom Colicchio, the permanent judge. This guy needs to fly us out to NY to eat at his restaurant. Are you listening, Chef Tom? We'll give you a good review, we promise.
So, the teams of two are selected and the type of fusion cuisine is assigned. Tiffani and Dave (Latin/Morroccan); Harold and Lisa (Latin/Japanese); Andrea and Chunk la Funk (Latin/Indian); and Lee Anne and Snidely (Latin/Chinese). They haul their creations out to (what we think was) the 16th and Mission BART stop [ed note: it was 24th Street.] and start trying to give away street food.
WINNERS:
Pork was the king of meats today.
Lee Anne and Mr. 3% get called to the winners room on the strength of their corn sope with char sui pork; it was lauded for good flavor and seemed popular, despite Stephen's inappropriate dress. His dandyish attire didn't stop the folks from eating though.
Snappish Tiffani and sulky Dave actually worked very well together, somewhat surprisingly. Their Moroccan Cubano pork sandwich proved very popular, both with judges and with the hoi polloi, and look really yummy. Although he may have partially or mostly won on the strength of the very talented Tiffany, we're glad Mr. Mopey Dave got some props for once; he seems like a nice cat.
LOSERS:
Andrea and Miguel didn't do so well -- they get called back to the losers room for their curried chicken and lentil burrito, which bugged Chef Tom because it was served open-faced and thus necessitated a fork. Flavorwise, folks seemed to think it was good, though. But when there are only FOUR dishes being judged, you bettah be in the top half. Andrea has immunity; the judges deride Miguel for allowing the obviously less food savvy Andrea be the driving force behind the dish. She had immunity, after all, it was Mig's ass on the line and the judges feel like he should have stepped up and put his fate in his own hands. He narrowly escapes disaster.
Harold and Lisa go for, um, seared tuna with avocado or something. Yeah, everyone likes their "street food" half raw. They forget their jicama salad that's supposed to go with it, too. Goes over like a lead balloon. Again, street food shouldn't necessitate a fork; this is Chef Tom's big bugaboo with the dish, besides thinking that Harold is trying to force his culinary sensibilities on the Mission populace rather than coming up with something they'd like. Guest judge Chef Yakura thinks its the dullest thing he's ever seen. Harold survives by the skin of his teeth and possibly because it was Lisa that left the jicama salad element back at the kitchens, not him. Lisa, who everyone seems to like a good deal, goes home, but holds her head high -- she's not a pro chef, yet she hung with all these folks for this long.
Another fun week -- tune in to Bravo tonight at 10 p.m. to see what happens next!