Last week's winner, the East Bay Express: Bottom Feeder on whether the Concord mayor is anti-abortion, and the bad body odor of a Berkeley narcotics officer alleged to be on the take. Photoshopping pandas in Oakland. (check out that awesome picture!) Do conservatives have fewer friends? Cover article: no, you can't void your mortgage by claiming that US currency has no value (this is a pretty cool article). Cafe Gratitude in Berkeley has bad service. I Like Eating charms us again with a visit to Rudy's Can't Fail Cafe. And Harvilla on the Kim Deal musical everyone's talking about.

The Bay Guardian: Hey, new website design! Chris Daly for Assembly? An entertaining editors' note (scroll down) about whether or not the Guardian believes that vegetables feel pain as they're being digested! Oh, advertiser Rainbow Grocery, always on the cutting edge (ouch! watch that edge!) The inside scoop on the Haight-Ashbury Free Clinic brouhaha. Hating Berkeley law professor John Yoo ("torture is a-okay by me!"). On The Sidelines' hilarious cartoon about bands with three repeated word names ("Die Die Die?" "Tony Toni Tone?" "!!!" ?). Cover article: Matt Gonzalez on Jonestown (and the Guardian shamefacedly admits that they totally thought the Peoples' Temple was okay at the time.) Bettie Page lookalike contest at Thee Parkside this Friday. And SFist Eve's horoscope: it implies that she's currently in a "crazy place" right now -- hey, Double Team, that ain't nice!

The SF Weekly and the Metro, after the jump -- along with the Weekly of the Week.

The Weekly: A letter asking why Meredith Brody has so many family members over. No, it's not by Ced! New Sucka Free City column, "Ask A Track Bike." What's a track bike? Also, mocking the Christian teens here last week -- the gift that never gets old! Immigration policy sucks, SoMA artist edition. Cover article: Singer-songwriter who looks like Liz Phair (but with wavy hair). The Kim Deal musical everyone's talking about. Meredith Brody takes yet another family member to dinner. The Bar of Contemporary Art. The Bouncer crashes a med school party. And Savage Love -- all about she-males.

And the Metro: Oooh, nice web redesign! Annalee Newitz goes medieval. Why won't the VTA strap wheelchair riders in on the bus? Cover article: The Metro goes all Bay Guardian and writes about San Jose's sunshine laws. More Vietnamese food in downtown SJ. The Rocklopedia Fakebandica, a compendium of fake bands in pop culture, like JEM and the Toby Reiser Quintet (the group that came in second to the Von Trapps in the Sound of Music) (check it out here). And Straight Dope on global warming.

Pick of the week: For overall readerliness this week, it's going to the Guardian. But we totally cannot stop going through this Rocklopedia Fakebandica!!! Where's 4-Evah, the For Better Or For Worse band?