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Gotta watch that gamma radiation around foodstuff. Good thing this week was a microwave challenge!
Hey, folks, welcome back to another recap of the "slow food movement" of reality TV shows, Bravo's Top Chef. It's deliciously vibrant, diverse, and, most especially cool, local! Again, we're recapping last week's episode in hopes that y'all will check out the new episode tonight -- after all, if it gets decent ratings, it might get another season. Wouldn't it be swell to have a long-running series in our fair seven-by-seven?
This episode's theme was supposedly "Food on the Fly," but we prefer to think of it as a spotlight on Tiffani and Tiffani. Both of 'em. Sort of a Chef Jekyll/Chef Hyde kinda thing. See, after writing her off as something of a biatch last week, we find ourselves liking Tiffani again. But we are confused -- is she complicated and complex? Or unbalanced and two-faced? Let's review . . .
The quickfire/immunity challenge: cook something made almost wholly from ingredients in a Mission gas station's snack shop. Candice seems to think she's got it made; she takes road trips and is fairly familiar with such cuisine. Tiffani has a decent scheme -- bread pudding made out of Krispy Kreme donuts! Miguel sort of snakes her idea; she's rightfully a little pissed. Evidently, she'd shared that idea with him in another context before the challenge was issued. He plays sorta dumb and kinda gets away with it (at least with us). Tiffani remarks that she makes this for her boyfriend.
Er, uh, excuse me? Didn't Tiff tell us a few weeks back that she knew Chef Falkner of Citizen Cake because they were featured together in an article about gay folks in the kitchen? We put on our investigative reporter hat and sauntered over to the fiery redhead's profile on Bravo's Top Chef site, which leads with: "This bisexual Bostonian . . ."
Um, okay, one mystery solved. Back to the recap.
Back at the Top Chef kitchen, guest judge Jefferson Hill of local restaurant Rotunda (located at the top of Neiman-Marcus), is pretty much a total prick. Which we respect; why put on a pretty face for television? Deliciously, Stephen (BOOO!) cheats by using fresh herbs and Chef Hill still thinks his dish is crapola. Schadenfreunde!! The much-beleaguered Dave actually seems to get a passing grade for what we'd call a "post-hangover breakfast," which included a microwaved burrito. Cop out? Neither Tiff's nor Miguel's donut-bread-puddings are particularly impressive, but Mig's is far too sweet. Chef Hill is most impressed with Lee Anne's spiedini with Funyuns and salami. She wins another quickfire challenge! She's happy, but states she'd like to win one of the big challenges.
And this ep.'s "big challenge" is: preparing something that can be microwaved for the working mothers of the Junior League of Oakland. They prep the food the day before and reheat it right in front of the audience while giving a little talk.
Photo from Bravo's Website; poor photo manipulation by SFist Jer
Snidely Whiplash--oh, sorry, we mean Stephen--decides that this is an opportunity to "educate" his intellectual inferiors with some sort of crazy fusion tamale. Nobody is impressed. Dave comments "America doesn't eat food like that." Tiffani NAILS it, commenting that Snidely has "an element of condescension" when explaining his dish that "you can't possibly understand what's gone into it."
Dave makes lasagna with some colorful veggies. He was mopey when Snidely and Harold seems to poke fun at his dish in the kitchen. C'mon, Dave, grow some backbone. He's recovered from his pouting, however, and the dish goes over pretty well. Poor Mig's meatloaf is cold in the center because he tried to get fancy with the reheating method. He's "devastated with [his] performance." Bummer. Is this another case, like last week, where Lisa's experience as a working mother will help her? Apparently not; her herbed chicken is too herby and rubbery. Inexperienced Candice makes quiche. Even we at SFist know that pastry crust is often doomed in the microwave. Plus, the shrimp inside is overcooked.
TOP THREE: Three strikes for Andrea: she, of course, makes a "health-promoting" dish; she's leery of that microwave contraption; and she plays the "colon" card once again! However, her dish ("organic quinoa pilaf with sweet potato mash") is well received. Great comeback for the once-dismissed dietician! Harold's thai-style soup goes over really well (spicy and balanced!), and he really sells it well too. We still think he'll win the overall competition.
But today goes to Tifffani. Despite, per Chef Tom's blog on the Bravo site, suffering from the flu and a high fever, Tiffani kicks some ass. She makes a fish, which we, the ignorant viewer, thought would doom her. After all, the few times we've seen fish microwaved, it turned into a weird, watery mess. However, her mirin glazed sea bass has a high enough fat content (or somesuch alchemical mumbo-jumbo) that microwaving it is fine, and she wins!
Final analysis for this most confusing contestant: Tiffani is off our "S" list, and hopefully will stay in "Jekyll" mode -- because we usually dig her vibe, and her clever cooking (still love her pumpkin thing from week one)!
Bottom three: Snidely Stephen (hissss), Lisa, Candice. Candice stifles a smile when Snidely's dish is criticised for being overly confusing and too creative.
Although we like her, we've proven to be a decent prognosticator -- Candice goes away. Harold lauds her backbone in wishing her a fond farewell. Classy all the way. Snidely kicks her while she's down. What a snot. Candice leaves with dignity, before Stephen can tie her to a railroad track.
Prediction: Sorry, Andrea--we think you're next for dismissal. Possibly Dave. And Lee Anne and Harold are both due for victories.
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i think the jr league was last week, unless my comcast dvr is lying to me. or magical.
perhaps i should read the whole thing before i comment.
I think I love Tiffani. How do I tell my husband?
We were cracking up at Stephen's Quickie Mart dish. Dude, it's a leaf and some nut crumbs on a plate, in what universe does that equal a "meal?" It's not even an appetizer!
J. thinks he should be a graphic designer since he seems to have a raging sense of style but no concept of how ingredients actually work together. Chefs like him are the reason why I sometimes cringe when I hear the word "fusion."
I'm sure I hate Stephen. His pretense is phenomenally out of step with what he considers to be his talent. As annoying as he is untalented, he manages to insult not only his colleagues and judges, but the very heritage of the people whose foods he mistakenly believes he's drawing from. Move on, jerk. Go back to Applebee's in Vegas.
Why is everyone oooing and ooohhhhing over Tiffani's food when she worked for Todd English for years and that is all his food on the show!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know she come across as a "biatch" but I thought it was about the cooking. Tiffany has shown that she can cook her butt off. I'm not a fan of her personality but as a chef I appreciate the work that she does.
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