While a protest against us by the venerable Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence might make for a stall in the average San Franciscan's career path, dealing with we pesky liberals seems to have only spured the former head of the San Francisco Roman Catholic Archdiocese, Archbishop William Levada, to greater heights. While we're sure a career highlight for him was handing this SFist her diploma and shaking her hand (while we were unwed and pregnant, natch), just this past summer he left the scene of such triumphant moments to head up the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (formerly the "Sacred Congregation of the Universal Inquisition." Creepy!).

And he can't be stopped! Today he was named one of two American Cardinals of the Catholic church. Being a cardinal sounds pretty cool -- you get that neat red hat, and you get to vote on who the Pope should be, when the current one dies. Other than that, it seems like a pretty cush job. Where do we sign up?