A Tree Grows in the 'Loin

Remember when Gavin the Good went off to Chicago and instead of raving about what most people rave about in Chicago-- Old Style and brats-- he raved about how green it was and how there were trees everywhere and how wood nymphs wearing Bears jerseys merrily danced along the shores of the lake? And remember how he came back and went all Johnny Appleseed on us and talked about how he wanted to plant more trees here? Well, the deadline for the first round of tree planting (5,000 trees by March) is fast approaching. In fact, trees have already been planted in SOMA and the Tenderloin, something that should make all the crack whores happy because it'll give them some shelter when it rains.

There is, however, a catch. And that catch is that more trees mean more maintenance and more maintenance means more people and more people means more money. Money that we don't have and wasn't budgeted. In total, it'll cost an extra $1.1 million dollars a year to do maintenance on the trees, including possibly hiring more than the twelve arborists they have on staff.

Gavin's Green guy in all this, Marshall Foster, says not to worry and that one way or the other they'll get the money to do all this. Currently being discussed are federal grants as well as organizing neighborhood groups to watch over the trees and a possible property tax. We'd love to see that one proposed.

Since we at SFist like to think that we're here for more than just snarking and being reactionary, we have a proposal-- naming rights. That's right, what better way of making money for the trees than giving somebody the option of ponying up the cash to have the trees named for you. Hey, we did something like this when we went to Hebrew School. Wouldn't all the leaders of the Downtown Business Interests thrill at the idea of a Gap Grove or Charlotte Swig's Shrubbery? And don't you think the progressives wouldn't jump at signing onto spending the money if we decided to name the trees after oppressed indigenous people throughout the world? Or something like Che Guevara Grotto or Mumia Abu Jamaal's Forest of Oppression?