Muni to Presidio Commuters: "F**k You All"
You might accuse us of being overly cynical with our doom-and-gloom predictions of Muni's impending Second Meltdown, but nothing can mitigate that aspiring transit agency's daily f**k-ups. Case in point: the temporary re-routing of the 43. We don't know where to begin with the number of ways this could have been a minor inconvenience, but morphed into a major s**t-storm due to -- what? Incompetance? Laziness? Malice? We just can't figure out how it's possible for transit to suck so bad.
The facts: Until last Monday, the 43 ran north up Presidio Blvd, then wound its way past George's new LDAC, and finally exited the park heading east on Lombard. Simple enough. But the Presidio needed to trim trees along the route, a process that's scheduled to close down Presidio Blvd for three days, so Muni was forced to find an alternate route for the bus. Its solution defies all logic: it's difficult to understand, involves secret detours, provides a route into the Marina but not a way back out, and leaves riders facing massive delays at best, and lost in the Presidio at worst.
After the jump: we pick apart the cock-ups -- with pictures! -- and also why we've been worked up into such a mad frenzy.
First of all, as we've pointed out before, Muni's communication with riders is flat-out awful. It would be SO EASY to create a website-based tool that allows users to sign up for periodic email updates when their regular routes are affected -- here at SFist, we're barely competant enough to run a website, and it would be child's play even for us. Imagine if you got notified whenever detours like this became necessary -- it would be great. Why won't Muni institute something like that? We're guessing it's probably because they hate America.
Next problem: Detour instructions are incomprehensible. Here's a selection from Muni's announcement about the detour: "Area Affected: the Marina District between Divisadero & Fillmore; Stops missed:Lombard & Divisadero, Lombard & Pierce; Alternate service: Walk to/from Lombard & Fillmore, or transfer to/from 28-19th at Lombard & Fillmore for service to these stops." Okay, um ... what? We've read that a dozen times now and it still doesn't make much sense to us. They're saying that in that five-block area, two stops are missed, and your should take the 28 instead ... right? That "19th" is there because the end of the 28's route is on 19th Ave, waaaaaaaay down south past West Portal. What person, seeking a replacement for their 43 service, knows or cares that the replacement bus ends somewhere out by SFSU? They also seem to be suggesting "walk" as an alternative to riding the bus, which is something Muni's sort of encouraged by accident for as long as we've lived here.
Next problem: Following "Alternate Service" instructions don't even make sense. If you're worried about losing service at the Lombard/Lyon and Lombard/Richardson stops, Muni suggests that you transfer to the 28 to get to/from Lombard/Divisadero or Richardson/Francisco. Um ... what again? In case you're not familiar with Obscure Intersections Of The Marina, that looks something like this:
Those so-called "Alternate Service" stops are sort of out-of-the-way -- certainly not worth walking to and waiting around for the 15 minutes it would take for the bus to come. And what possible reason could a person have for needing these alternates, anway? Since there's only two of them, and they're adjacent, the only thing that a person seeking to replace their 43 service could use them for is to travel exactly ONE STOP. Muni's plan is for the 43's riders to walk to a different stop, wait there 15 minutes for the 28, then ride that for three blocks to the one other stop on the 28's route that's replacing a stop on the 43's. Confused yet?
Next problem: Muni suggests taking a shuttle that goes nowhere near where the 43 takes riders. The 43 takes you on a nice little trip through the southeastern corner of the Presidio. Muni suggests that you replace your 43 ride with a ride on the PresidiGo shuttle, which doesn't share much of a route with the 43. In fact, it zooms off towards the ocean in a completely different direction. So, if you were planning on taking the 43 south from the Presidio to, for example, Laurel Heights, and you hopped on the PresidiGo, you'd find yourself far, far away from where you wanted to be. Nice alternative. And the best part? That particular PresidiGo shuttle route only runs at peak hours. Ha ha.
Next problem: The detour that the busses take is minor, but passengers aren't allowed. As you can see on the map above that we created, the 43's detour doesn't actually deviate that far from its original route. It would have been SO EASY to create temporary stops along that detour, and to pick up and discharge passengers there -- but Muni didn't. Why? Our guess is that it has something to do with their allegiance to Satan. If you're riding the 43 northbound, the driver will let you stay on the bus and get off whenever you like. But he or she won't pick up any new passengers until the bus rejoins the regular 43 route. So you can take the 43 to the Marina ... you just can't take it back. You're trapped there. BRILLIANT.
But it gets even better: if you disembark from the bus along that detour, or if you want to get from the Marina to the Presidio Gate (where the 43 starts picking riders up again) you will find yourself on some of the city's steepest hills. Muni has made it physically exhausing to get to or from the re-route. Once again, Muni, nicely done.
Next problem: No indication of when normal service resumes. According to Muni's always 100%-accurate website, this re-routing starts in the morning around 8:30 and finishes in the evening around 4:30. So if you're heading home from work, you might be able to ride the 43 as usual. But if you didn't go to Muni's website, you'd never know that; there's no signage indicating this timeline along the route. That's where the information SHOULD be, because Along The Route, in case you didn't know, is where PEOPLE WAIT FOR THE BUS.
Next problem: We had to create all these maps. Muni's ace cartographers didn't lift a goddamn finger. We ask, which of these is easier for you to figure out: "Walk to/from Lombard & Fillmore, or transfer to/from 28-19th at Lombard & Fillmore for service to these stops," or looking at a freaking map of the neighborhood? Muni insists on making life hard for its riders -- if it's not raising fees, cutting service, or bunching busses until the entire fleet runs in a single caravan, they're creating confusing instructions that require an encyclopedic knowledge of San Francisco geography. For the love of God, Muni, just make a freaking map for once.
This whole rant started, if you must know, as a minor spat with Mr. SFist. He works late in the Presidio, you see, and we were waiting to start dinner when he IMed and told us he'd be late because the 43 wasn't running and there simply was no way for him to get home. We didn't believe him, of course, since he's an inveterate (and invertibrate) madman, so we went to check for ourselves. The more we clicked through websites -- first Muni's, then 511's, then Muni's again, then the Presidio's and so on -- the further our jaw dropped open. Surely, we thought, they can not have f**ked up this badly. We've come to expect bad from them, but seriously, this whole scheme of theirs seems cooked up by a four-year-old. It's confusing, it's impractical, it's frustrating, it's inaccurate, it's inaccessible -- what can we say except: Muni, bravo, you've outdone yourself yet again.