American Football Spectacular: Bowl-tastic
It's time for American Football Spectacular's bowl preview! Assisted by red wine, our American college football consultant Doug "MC Fried Chicken" Mungin, and the sheer will to succeed, we push ever forward to bring you these scintillating projections.
LIBERTY BOWL
Fresno St vs. Tulsa
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Fresno has been all slumpy since nearly upsetting USC in a monstrous toe-to-toe battle. Tulsa used to be in the same conference with Fresno and is on the way up, winning their first league championship in 20 years by taking Conference USA from UTEP.
Tulsa's mascot is the "Golden Hurricane." That's considerable more serious than a simple Golden Shower. Who OKs these mascot names? It just makes us gloomy to ponder.
MC Fried Chicken's take: I love Tulsa's tight end Garrett Mills, he's like 80% of their offense. (And he just broke the NCAA 1-A record for TE receiving yards in a single season.)
Sponsorship: The Liberty Bowl is sponsored by AutoZone. Their company name might also be used for a 1970s paperback sci-fi novel. "To win your freedom, you must pass through the AutoZone!"
HOUSTON BOWL
(14) TCU vs. Iowa St.
Saturday, December 31, 2005
TCU would probably be playing after New Year's Day if they hadn't lost to an unranked SMU. Doh. So here they are in the Houston Bowl, which is Texas. And Texas means fightin'!
This game will be held in the NFL Houston Texans' Reliant Stadium. No one would be shocked if this bowl game outdrew a Texans game.
MC Fried Chicken's take: TCU should win. They have a hot QB and should take out Iowa St.
Sponsorship: EV1.net. A who-da-what? Upon further review, EV1.net is an ISP from Houston. Perhaps you're even using them right now.
Image of Jim Crowley, one of the famous 4 Horsemen, carying the ball for Notre Dame during the 1925 Rose Bowl from the Rose Bowl site.
SFist Christopher Rogers, contributing
FIESTA BOWL
(5) Notre Dame vs. (4) Ohio St.
Monday, January 2, 2006
Now we're getting somewhere. Long after the hangover is gone, we've got Notre Dame's Head Coach Charlie Weis bringing his resurgent Fighting Irish into Arizona to face The Ohio State University's smothering D.
According to Yahoo Sports, the Irish have lost seven consecutive bowl games. That's the sort of history no team would like to have to drag around. But win or lose, the band Blues Traveler will be there at the game!!!
MC Fried Chicken's take: Big 10 coaches are stuck in 1980s. Notre Dame will pick Ohio State apart. Ohio State has probs against complicated offenses. And a Charlie Weis offense against a base D?! What do you think will happen...
Sponsorship: Tostitos. Mmm, chips. When was the last time you had some really good guacamole?
SUGAR BOWL
(11) West Virginia vs. (8) Georgia
Monday, January 2, 2006
This game was meant to be played at the Louisiana Superdome, but yeah, so, it's going to be played at the Georgia Dome instead. Unexpected home field! The Bulldogs must be excited.
MC Fried Chicken's take: Georgia should win, they want to turn the corner and establish themselves.
Sponsorship: Nokia. They make phones and stuff. Sugar has nothing to do with phones. Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me" is one of the greatest songs of all time. This fact is beyond dispute.
ORANGE BOWL
(3) Penn St. vs. (22) Florida St.
Tuesday, January 3, 2006
We really are going to have to look into the way these bowl games got their names and areas of influence. There must be a story there.
In any case, the tale for the Nittany Lions this year was the groundswelling attitude that Head Coach Joe Paterno must go! He was too old, too outdated, and then after a couple wins it was all like "Joe Pa! We never doubted you!" Yeah, sure you did. Right. Bottom line: winning cures all.
MC Fried Chicken's take: FSU beat Virginia Tech in the ACC Championship Game [FSU Head Coach] Bowden is about D first. FSU is happy to be here -- Penn needs to prove a point. Should be a grind-it-out game. FSU will try to make it as short as possible.
Sponsorship: FedEx. What? The orange juice industry couldn't out-bid FexEx? Hmph.
ROSE BOWL
(1) USC vs. (2) Texas
Wednesday, January 4, 2006
This is the game that everyone has been waiting for. The two best teams in the country going at it for the uncontested #1 spot. Almost makes the BCS look smart! (It's not.)
Some of the country's best players will be on display as they make their way to the NFL: Reggie Bush, Leinart, Vince Young. What can be said for the rest of the players who don't make to the NFL? How will they frame the 2006 Rose Bowl within the important moments of their lives? Who would tell these stories? See, these are the sorts of things we think about from time to time.
Marin County's own Pete Carroll is getting severely legendary as USC's Head Coach. Never has a college been National Champ for three years straight. If the Trojans can run over the Longhorns, it will be sung of for years to come. Not bad for a loopy players' coach out of Redwood High School, eh?
You must watch this game. Futures depend on it. Or you could go for a walk or something if the weather is nice. Tired of this rain and all, aren't you?
(Hardcore USC fan) MC Fried Chicken's take: USC is run-first now -- the running back corps is better now, they had [current Raider Justin] Fargas before, but now they're hotter. Texas' DL is very good, but their linebackers can be beaten. Their safeties must play up! That would make them vulnerable... TX has a good multi-weapon offense; very college-y. Lots of slants and deep routes, then pound with simple running plays. Texas will give USC a game, but how they will deal with playing from behind? USC is an "impose-their will" type of team, and can out-power Texas.
Sponsorship: "Presented by Citi." Pretty tasteful and subdued when it comes to branding (when compared to the rest of bowls), the Rose Bowl stands out for not being as eager to sell its brand to suitors. That's classy. And rare.
Next time on your American Football Spectacular: The garage door finally shuts on your local American football teams' seasons. So we will sum those up for you. Also, bowl game commentaries, Wild Card matchups, and glee.
American Football Spectacular: Bowl-tastic