ESPN the Magazine (as opposed to ESPN the occasionally showing sports TV channel, ESPN the Web site, ESPN the restaurant chain, and ESPN the movie studio) recently decided to put together a poll that ranks every franchise of the Big Three sports (hockey isn't included as it wasn't playing last year). The ninety-two teams are ranked based on online survey questions and the magazines' own research and are based on things like
wins, management, fan relations, and cost. The top five franchises? The Spurs, Pistons, Steelers, Colts, and the Anahiem LA Angels. So much for sports life in the big cities. The worst five teams? The Knicks, Trail Blazers, Vikings, Bobcats (still too young of a franchise to decide) and coming in last, the poor homeless N'Awlins Saints.
So how did our local teams do? In short, meh (we would link to the article in question, but for whatever reason, IT'S NOT ONLINE! This is the 21st Century-- everything should be online. We mean, we can find naked pictures of Natalee Holloway out there, but we can't find a damn ESPN article? What's up with that?) As befitting our no longer regal status in the sporting universe, most of the Bay Area teams came in somewhere in the middle with the Oakland A's deemed the best Bay Area franchise, at 42. Praise was given for it's inexpensive tickets, players (12), and value (17) but were given demerits for management (too cheap) and locale (the dumpy Coliseum, or the Stadium Al Ruined).
Next on the list, the Giants at 56. SBC drew raves (7th for locale) but got dinged for being an expensive night out, with parking drawing the biggest criticism. This despite the fact the whole point was to make it so expensive everyone would take the train or bus to get to them game. Then again, the idea of making driving expensive to encourage people not to drive is usually considered crazy talk. Nipping at the heels of the Giants are current Bay Area Faves, the hott Golden State Warriors, up twenty points. Besides the buzz the team has been drawing, ESPN points out that it's still a pretty cheap night out.
And our football teams? The Rai-duhs came in 71st, putting them in the bottom section of the rankings. Nothing really was noted good, bad or ill towards the Silver & Black other than spotty attendance. The Niners, however, finished in the bottom eleven, coming in at 81. How the mighty have fallen. Worst of all, they came in as the 90th Bang For the Buck, which basically comes down to fans spending a lot of money for very little wins. York was taken to task for the ruining of the franchise, but the rating for management wasn't that low, more from there being many more crappy owners than him (if you can believe it). Fret not, Niners fans, even if ESPN doesn't rank him as Worst. Ever, he does, have a Web site out there dedicated to his sucking.
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