Week 14 NFL Preview
As we look ahead to week 14 of the 2005 NFL season we see a pretty dreadful slate of games featuring the hometown teams. So we tried to think of a compelling reason why you should watch the games this weekend instead of going out with your homies to see the "gay cowboy eating pudding movie" (you know you want to) and we actually were able to come up with a few things.
The biggest, most compelling reason to watch is that it is now official--the Rai-duhs have a new QB. Yep, it's Tui time as Marvelous Norv Turner has announced that Marques Tuiasosopo will indeed start as Kerry Collins has become the new Jay Schroeder. Collins, as you might as well imagine, is not happy.
The other compelling reason to watch this weeks games is that this week's slate of games involves two out of the four teams involved in the Reggie Bush Bowl, the Jets (who play the Rai-duhs) and our own San Francisco 49ers, two teams the Sports Guy today called "sucktastic". It’s like the Bizarro Pennant race this weekend. And yes, the Niners are saying they'll take Bush if they can draft him, screw the chintziness.
As for other reasons to watch this weekend games, we dunno. How about the fact that it's cold out there? And do you really want to be seen in public going to see Brokeback Mountain (soon to be probably the most NetFlixed DVD of all time)?
Oh, and by the way, remember the rant about how we always get screwed by the networks come Sunday? Well, the football gods are actually giving us another game to watch besides the God-awful Rai-duhs/Jets game. That game? The Chargers/Dolphins game, this because somebody up there thinks that because the Rai-duhs are in the same division as the Chargers, we'd care more. We don't. In fact, at this point, considering all the buzz surrounding the undefeated Colts, we should be shown every game the Colts play. Kind of like how whenever the Sox/Yanks play, every network shows them. But no.
We hate you, NFL.
Let's take a look at this week's game, shall we?
Raiders vs. Jets- If the NFL were the NBA, Paul Tagliube would already be trying to figure out how to rig the draft so the J-E-T-S would get the first round draft pick and be able to draft Bush. But the NFL isn't and so the Jets have to get it the old fashioned way, they have to earn it. Which shouldn't be a problem as this team is awful, though no fault of their own. The only team with a more dire QB situation is, actually, the Niners. They've had so many injuries they dragged poor Vinny T out of retirement only to watch him go down his second game back. In fact, the QB situation is so bad they should have just done a reality show called "So You Wanna Be a QB?" to be hosted by Joe Namath and Suzy Kolber.
This is actually good news for the Rai-duhs as the J-E-T-S just completely stink. They have the 31st ranked offense with no discernable offensive threat other than 65 year old Curtis Martin. Meanwhile, we actually like Tui's chances this week as we've noticed over the years that teams that start a 2nd string QB with no real experience does well in their first game because their opponents have no idea what to expect. It's like a blind date-- you don't know whether to go divey or classy, dress up or dress down, eat simple or eat fancy. You don't even know what to talk about. As a result, it's just all just a crap shoot with about a 10% of getting it right.
In other words, we like Oakland to win the Heidi Bowl rematch.
Niners vs. the Seahawks- We watch a lot of the screaming columnist shows on ESPN and right now, all of them are trying to come around to the possibility that the Seahawks are the best team in the NFC. Statistically and record wise, you'd have to go with them, but it just doesn't make sense. Its like friends trying to adjust to the fact one of their friends is dating somebody who's really bad for them, they want to support them but they just can't. They got a serviceable QB, a tough D, and a RB who is God's gift to Fantasy Football Players-- Shaun Alexander. Why not? Did you see how they totally throttled the Eagles on Monday Night?
The Niners did play the Seattle Blue Men (TM Tuesday Morning QB) tough the last time they faced them but that was at home. And when the 'Hawks were probably taking it a bit easy. This week we don't see the same thing happening. First of all, it's in Seattle and Seattle is virtually unbeatable at home. The Niners, on the other hand, are the very definition of beatable on the road, having lost twenty out of their last twenty-two on the road. Sure, there's a chance Seattle might fall asleep during this game as they pretty much have everything wrapped up conference-wise, but they still need to win home-field advantage.
In other words, it could get ugly.