Political Junkie: He's Just Not That Into You
Dear Political Junkie:
I'm a very attractive woman with a great job in New York and lots of dating prospects. The problem is my ex. I mean, he said it was over and I should just go and live my life. But I know he wants me back. I just know it! I mean, we didn't even really ever break up -- he has some really mean friends at the office who never liked me (they're just jealous), and if I could just get him away from them, I know everything would be perfect again. I mean, he passed all these laws about pit bulls, just so he could get me back in town. And he took me out to dinner and drinks and we had so much fun! And I flew out for his birthday! He was so happy to see me! And when he needs someone by his side for big social occasions, guess who he calls? How do I get rid of all the people trying to keep us apart?
Signed, Your Biggest Fan.
Our answer after the jump!
Dear Kimberly:
Can we call you Kimberly? We feel so close to you. Girl, listen to us closely. He's just not that into you. Have you heard what he's been saying about you? "My soon-to-be-ex-wife"? Pretending that he wasn't actually going with you to Beach Blanket Babylon? Refusing to hold your hand in public? Ignoring you as soon as the cameras leave? Dating other people??? You're flying out here every single week for that?
What's it going to take before you figure it out, sweetie? The mayoral staff dumping a bucket of pig's blood on you? He's just using you for the sex! Put "I Will Survive" on your iPod and walk out the door!
xxoo,
your political junkie