The Warriors: Dr. Feelgood to the White Courtesy Phone, Please
Bust out the lithium Warriors fans, cuz this season is shaping up to have more peaks and valleys than the Warrior Girls team photo. Amid the talk of playoffs and winning records, the one thing that the Warriors marketing department promised the fans was excitement. Well, if by excitement, they mean consistently strong play by a maturing team ready to put it all together with a play-off-caliber season, then we may have a problem. However, if by excitement they mean a wild roller coaster ride of ups and downs and downs and ups, a season in which the team may not win more than they lose but are capable of the highest highs and the lowest lows, then they may be right on the money. Through three regular-season games, this Warriors squad is a two-headed monster, a basketball Gemini with severe bipolar issues.
A definitive diagnosis for the Warriors' condition is currently a matter of debate among experts in the field and will probably require extended observation, but definitive symptoms, including impaired judgment, extreme mood swings, and grandiose thinking have been in full effect during the first week of the season.
Let's take a look at their chart.
SFist Chris contributing
Before the season even started, the Warriors seemed like they were on the road to wellness, drafting athletic front court players Ike Diogu and Chris Taft as well as sleeper point guard Aaron Miles. But instead of breaking their pathophysiological cycle of self-destructive behavior by bringing in some star veteran players with play-off experience and leadership qualities to complement their increased energy, delusional Chris Mullin confirmed Adonal Foyle as the starting center and signed first round depressants Troy Murphy and Mike Dunleavy to impulsively inappropriate long-term contracts. The Dunleavy move alone has roiled factions of the Warrior faithful so badly that some are even complaining that the whelpish small forward is hurting the team in NBA 2k and NBA Live video games.
Then on opening night, overstimulated by the multiple interacting causal factors of marketing and professionally enacted stagecraft, the hometown crowd of more than 18,000 was flying around the rafters of the Oakland Coliseum (there's plenty of room up there, what with the lack of championship banners and all) during the pre-game introductions and fanfare. Swollen up with effusive amounts of community pride and propaganda, the crowd was positively euphoric, but the Warriors came out Dopamine-deficient and missed 11 free throws, committed 14 turnovers, and trailed the Atlanta Hawks, the worst team in the NBA, by 10 points at halftime. A salty lavage of boos flushed the team into the locker room.
Their neurotransmitters properly stimulated by Coach Mike Montgomery at halftime, the squad came out filled with energy and punished the Squawks, going on a 27-2 run in the third quarter. In this exaltant period though, the team had to fight off feelings of despair and hopelessness when franchise savior-to-be Baron Davis twinged his troublesome hammy and had to leave the game. Riding the return trip of their emotional pendulum back into the stratosphere, the Warriors went on to overwhelm Atlanta with a frenetic offensive display that blew the equally dysfunctional Squawks out by 25 points and landed the Warriors in first place in the Western Division.
Victories being historically hard to come by, especially ones that put the team over the elusive .500 mark, the win over the hapless Hawks threw the Warrior nation into a fit of hypomania complete with feelings of exhilaration and play-off hallucinations. This was quickly followed by a crashing, painful plummet back into the well-worn folds of Golden State depression when the Baron-less team stumbled their way to defeat against the Utah Spazz. Irritable and self-critical, the team treated its condition with a 29-minute, closed-door team throwdown that flagrantly violated NBA policy and could be heard from down the hall.
Two days later, recovered from their latest bout of reality, the O-town cagers revived play-off visions with a gritty road win over the New York Schticks. Adding to the team's roller coaster of emotions, Jessica Alba was seen at the Garden checking out the game, but, sadly, she was there to see the Schticks.
So to summarize: Two front-court first round draft picks, but a $45 million dollar contract for the next Joe Smith. Booing in the first half of the first game of the season, but a taste of first place. An airing of grievances after just the second game of the season, but a perfect road record. Outscoring opponents by 7.0 points per game but shooting only 31 percent from three-point range and 57 percent from the free-throw line.
At this point, it's impossible to give a long-term prognosis for this team, but one thing is certain: If left untreated, the Warriors are exciting enough to drag you up and down the emotional court this year.