SFist Answers Rx
Wow -- after faking answers to a few medical and psychological questions in our past few entries, we suppose people have been happy -- because these kinds of questions keep coming in! So whether it's about weddings, weariness, where to hype an event, or where find a book, SFist Answers is the place to turn.
We, as a happily married dude, were relieved to see a question with a subject line about marriage. Finally, something (besides coffee) we can speak with some small authority on! But alas, this question from T is something of a doozy:
Is it exceptable [sic] in this day and age for a 21 yr old male to fall in love with a 44 rear old lady and ask her to marry him?
Oh, man. Acceptable? Well, you're asking in San Francisco, right? We accept a lot of things in this town; that, in fact, is why many of us have flocked here. It's a great place to chase the life you want to live. So . . . "acceptable?" Yes, sure. Falling in love is acceptable, as is asking someone to marry you, as is he or she accepting. But there are a couple other factors we'd ask you to consider.
1) Please forgive us -- we think you might be jumping the gun just a tad. The 21-year-old male is barely of legal drinking age. Might we be so bold as to suggest maintaining your relationship for another year or two before actually popping the question or accepting (depending on which role applies)? Believe me, the perspective of a 23 or 24 year old, versus that of a 21 year old, can be immeasurable. Another year or two of waiting could help ensure future happiness.
2) Also--is this having some kind of negative effect on relationships with friends/family? Pre-existing relationships are important, beyond concerns those of the "society at large." A key to many successful marriages is the inclusion, or growth, of these other important relationships into your new one. If this relationship is evoking a not-so-supportive reaction in existing, valued relationships, then time, compromise, and communication will be essential -- for all parties -- as in any successful relationship.
If the timetable is urgent and you feel you can't wait, owing to the woman's age, or if the important people around you, those who you trust, aren't happy, you guys have some important considerations, ones that we at SFist Answers can't pretend to know the end-all answer to. But, to simply answer the original question, screw "acceptability" from the peanut gallery. Good luck to you both.
Quickly becoming our favorite questioneer, the "gurl" known as Scriblegurl asks,
"How does being bored affect a person's health?"
We can't give a totally comprehensive answer, but we can shed light on a few things. . . . according to an article on WebMD (that admittedly doesn't address this exact topic) we found:
"it's very possible that boredom itself, and probably some worrying on the side, could create a feeling of stress . . . . We know absolutely that boredom is bad for us in other ways. Developing organisms that don't get enough stimulation don't develop properly, producing adults with brains that don't function as well as they could and hormone levels that aren't ideal. And gerontologists have taught us that we spend our entire lives as developing organisms, and that even as we age we need stimulation."
So, hey, Scriblegurl--get out and do stuff!
Speaking of doing stuff, our friend EW writes:
"Since you have your finger on the pulse of this town, and I am shilling for my friend's reading next week, are you aware of any calendar-type things where I could submit the info for his gig? (it's Thursday, Nov. 10, 7:30 p.m.--Joshua Wolf Shenk on Lincoln's Melancholy: How Depression Challenged a President and Fueled His Greatness--at Cody's new Stockton store.)"
Why, of course -- right here on SFist! We've roped in SFist Eve to help illuminate:
While we don't promise we'll include everything we get sent (like, the next local Klan rally is not going end up as a recommended event), we're happy to include most event notifications we recieve in one of our two event columns.Rita writes Wednesdays, the new Wednesdays, which covers events from Wednesday-Friday every week and appears in SFist on (wait for it) Wednesdays. I write Stuff to do if You're Bored, which covers Saturday -Tuesday or Wednesday (and the occasional late-breaking Friday). It appears on the site on Fridays.
All EW (or anyone else) needs to do is email us at editor AT sfist.com with the event details and we'll most likely run it. It's that simple!
Thanks, Eve. How are those glass shelves treating you?
And, finally, speaking of Cody's, Michelle R. wonders how she can find out if a bookstore carries a certain book--specifically from the new Cody's in SF, which we just visited for the first time and intend to log many more hours there (once that new-rubber smell goes away).
You know, Michelle, Cody's actually has a really great Web site that--along with great things like a weekly coupon, staff bios, and more--has a "quick search" option in the upper left hand window -- this should tell you if they have it available. Aside from that, Cody's "information desk" can arrange special orders and provide further info.
So that's it for now, folks -- a bunch of questions keep coming in; if y'all keep this up, we'll have to go from bi-weekly to weekly just to keep up. Peace!