We Read The Weeklies

...because SFist Rita can't!

OK, last week's winner was the Guardian. It's their 39th anniversary, and we're talking about housing in the city. Cover story: characterless and expensive condos on the East side. The Warfield sues the Weekly, claiming, among other things, that a Bill Graham staffer threateded to "f**k up" the Warfield. (SFist f**ks stuff up all the time, where's our cool lawsuit?). Oakdale projects are unbelievably squalid. Third Street light rail will probably suck (well, duh, Muni's behind it). Dan Leone spills the beans on No-Name Sushi's name. Goodbye, Meatless (does this mean there's a vegetarian food-reviewer opening at the Guardian? Hmmm.)

The Weekly's cover advertises an event at the SF Weekly Warfield (ouch!) and features Parchman Farm. The SF Housing authority pulled a bait and switch on Katrina refugees. Nintendogs are cute and shed less than SFist Franny. Wha? Suddenly, we're confronted with the SF Weekly Music Awards Program Guide. We feel annoyed and aren't sure why. Is this just ads? Oh, yeah, 11 pages in we get this, where the Weekly sets the records straight and explains that they are not, in fact, evil. Whew, we've been freaking out since that piece from the Guardian, so that's a relief. OK, whatever, we do not care about this awards show, especially since we weren't invited. Maybe they thought we'd f**k it up?

We would have picked up an Express, but none had been delivered to our chosen rendez-vous point! We promise to look harder next week.

And the winner is...dude, are you kidding? It's the Guardian, fool. The Weekly was basically just an ad for their own damn event this week (to which we were NOT invited), so someone would have had to really "f**k up" the Guardian to make it lose.