US Weekly has this great section called “Stars, They’re just like US”, where they have pictures of celebs pumping gas and picking their noses. SFist is glad to bring you an interview in which you’ll learn that even very talented up and coming bands are an awful lot like you and us. We caught the Ambulance Ltd.’s set at Saturday’s Download Music Festival. Although they went on at two, they managed to draw a large crowd. They did a nice job with their set, winning over some new fans with their older fare, and pleasing the die-hards with some new stuff. Plus, props go to any band that can pull off an instrumental improvisation during a music festival rife with HIM fans.

Our interview adventure began as we tracked down the tour handler, Freekshow (that’s not a typo, really, that’s what he likes to be called and how he spells it). Freekshow proceeded to hustle us into the back of an unmarked white van. The band was still unwinding from their set so we sat in silence as we drove into the bowels of Shoreline Amphitheater. The only excitement came when the band spotted some “fuzz” and the driver assured them that he was “on it”. At long last we joined the band in their trailer. We were hoping for something pimped out with all kinds of food and bevs (hello, we read the The Smoking Gun, we know what kinds of things go on in there) and were disappointed that there was only a Saran-wrapped plate of veggies that never got touched. As Freekshow left to procure some beer and hash, SFist began the interview.

SFist: Would you like the hard or easy questions first?
Matt: The hard ones.

SFist: Ok, but they’re pretty probing
Darren: Probing?! You’re going to probe us? Where? How? We like being probed.

SFist:: You’re definitely in the right area for that but no. The question is which member of Ambulance Ltd. is most expendable, and why?
Marcus: [Stunned Silence]. Are you serious?

Photos by Rebecca Gholdston

SFist:: Yes. I said it was a hard question. You have to vote someone out of the band.
Marcus: Matt! His flatulence. [Unanimous consent] Yah Matt! .
Matt: Yah, I’d have to vote myself off too.

SFist: Because base players are the easiest to replace?
Darren: No. Really. Because of the way he smells.
Matt: But you think it’s the smell of home, right?

SFist: Is the song “Ophelia” about a real person.
Marcus: Yah, actually it’s about two or three different people.

SFist: Word association game: Bay Area:
Benji: @@@@!!!

SFist: @@@@?!! Are you serious?
Benji: Yes!
Marcus: No! Don’t listen to him. What are you saying?!!
Benji: Ok, Barry Bonds, Steve Young, Lars Ulrich, Homosexuals. Also, um.. will you please not say that I said @@@@.
SFist: Sure, we’ll edit it out.

SFist: Do you guys like the Bay Area? We know that Benji is from Santa Monica, and there is well known antipathy between So and No cal.
Benji: Yah, I like it here.
Marcus: Yes, it’s cool here.
Matt: I like the Tenderloin

SFist: The Tenderloin? Because of Tranny hookers?
Darren: Yah... it’s cool, you know all the Trannys and hookers.
Matt: Do you mean transsexual or transgender?
Darren: You know….
Matt: What’s that one word?!
SFist: Hermaphrodite?
Matt: Yes! Hermaphrodite! Jamie Lee Curtis!
Marcus: What are you talking about?
Matt: She’s got both!
Marcus: What?
Benji: You know, boobs and balls. You can see them in "Trading Places"?
Darren: What are you talking about?
Benji: : In the movie, there’s this one shot. You can see both when she’s in that thong bikini thing?
Darren: Why weren’t you looking at her boobs?
Benji: I was, but it was like double your pleasure with both.
SFist: Are you serious?
Benji: Yes! You totally can.

SFist: Do you like playing at music festivals?
Marcus: Sure, there are lots of people here. We get a chance for more people to hear us than we do at smaller venues.

SFist: Do you think your music translates well? Your bluesy rock sound goes well in small clubs.
Matt: That’s true, but we mix things up to make it work for other venues. We’re always switching up the play list depending on how the show is going. Improvising and stuff.

SFist: Is it hard to play to people that aren’t there to see you?
Matt: Yes, but that’s what’s cool about it. It’s a challenge. We try to win them over to us.

SFist: It seems like that would be hard when the fans are into really different kinds of music. We had to fight our way through some pretty angry gothic fourteen year olds to get back here for the interview. [Ambulance was sharing the stage with Mindless Self-Indulgence (MSI) and HIM]
Darren: That part is pretty funny. We used to share a practice space with MSI until they got us kicked out.

SFist: You did?
Marcus: Yes. Then they made up some stuff about us, and maybe stole some stuff and we got thrown out. They suck.

SFist: We noticed that they had their drum kit set up pre-strewn with bras and panties. Do you think that is pathetic, or does the power of suggestion win them more such trophies?
Darren: They did?!
Marcus: Yah, they did. That’s just lame. But kind of funny. Yah, the one guy tried to say hi earlier, like everything was ok.

SFist: There seems to be a natural progression from high school band nerds to being in a rock band. Did you guys follow that?
Marcus: sure.
Matt: We’re still nerds

SFist: So is that why you guys joined a band-- for the girls?
Darren: You mean to get laid?

SFist: Um.
Darren: I’d have sex with you or you or both [SFist and our photographer]
SFist: [Silence]
Darren: I mean, I’m really high right now.

SFist: The whole Myspace phenomenon is interesting. We wondered if you make it hard for people to become your friends on there. You have 4000, but we thought you’d have more.
Marcus: What?! Well, I guess I don’t really know. The label does everything.
Benji: Actually, Darren seems popular on the site. People have clicked on his picture way more than the rest of us.
SFist: Really?
Benji: Yah, he’s got a good picture on there. It’s pretty popular.
Darren: Really?

SFist:: Did you put those holes in your jeans yourself?
Benji: Yah. I mean, I took a picture of Freddie Prinze Jr. that looked cool and was really careful to copy them.
Matt: yah, it took him forever.

SFist: We noticed that you seem really nervous about the police and pot. You know that in this area you’re not likely to get busted for doing that, right?
Marcus: Really? That’s so different than New York. I got arrested for smoking a joint on the street. I spent like two days in jail.

SFist: Seriously?
Marcus: Yah. They don’t mess around.
Matt: Yah, if they catch you with even the tiniest microscopic bit of pot, they haul you off to jail.

SFist: Do any of the rest of you have criminal records?
Marcus: Yah, I got arrested for it another time.
Matt: Yah, I did once too.

SFist: Do you try to play up the bad boy rock and roll image?
Marcus: No, I just wish they’d take it off my record and it would go away.
Matt: Tell the kids not to shoot up. For the kids.