SFisting: Things in Rubbers—The Interview
When a man puts something in a condom, it's difficult not to stare. We think that it's even more difficult when he takes a picture and puts it online, which may explain the popularity of San Francisco based site Things in Rubbers, run with sticky fingers by Sean Kelly, the former proprietor of (former, much loved) gallery Spanganga—possibly known more for its debauched wet and messy parties than art. At any rate, we caught up with busy Mr. Rubbers in between stuffings, and he had a few things to say about his slippery, and sometimes explosive, new vocation.
SFisting: What happens at Things in Rubbers?
TiR: I put everyday objects in condoms, take a picture and then post it to the site so people can laugh until they barf. So far there are over 100 things on the site, none of them could possibly be considered obscene. Some might consider the content absurd and the superlative of gross, but not obscene.
SFisting: Why do you put things in rubbers, and take photographs of them (the 'whygodwhy' question)?
TiR: I had a psych eval I was looking to fail. Acutally, I wondered if I could get my river barge of a foot in a condom. It worked and I immediately wanted to try more things. The food pictures were so gross I felt obligated to share them with the rest of humanity.
SFist Violet, contributing. Photo of a 2005 Burning Man ticket in a rubber from Things in Rubbers.
SFisting: Do you have a favorite brand, or a condom sponsorship?
TiR: I am using a bag of off-brand condoms that were tchotchkies from something called eMazing.com that someone gave to me back in Spanganga's play party days. They are cheap-o, which means thick, which means durable. Only about 1 in 10 condoms breaks. The cantelope was a first try. The Duct tape was also a first try. If you want to avoid std's or pregnancy, these are what you should use. They are the cement bunker of prophylactics.
I have no official sponsorship. I was running Google ads and they kicked me out of the program without telling me why, probably because of the content. Now I'm using Adbrite's run of network and experimenting with some other stuff. For now my day job will have to pay the bills. Though, I'd welcome a sponsorship deal.
SFisting: Have you had any bad/crazy/extra messy experiences in the course of your work putting things in rubbers?
TiR: Yes, I broke my Fuji FinePix, because the lube all over my fingers caused me to keep dropping it. So now I have a clearance special digital camera that can break without making me sad. When I did the picture of Dog Food I had this unfortunate suction thing going on which caused dog food to spray on me. Once you get dog food on you, you are marked for life. Also, the catfish head was mighty bloody and fishy and it got all over me while I was trying to get it in the rubber. Now, I wear latex gloves if I think what I'm working with is gonna make my hands smell all night.
SFisting: When will this madness end?
TiR: Hopefully never, or when I run out of condoms. I'm taking requests, so hit the email link on the site and suggest your worst. I'll probably tire of it at about 250 pix and leave it up indefinitely or until I run for the Senate.
SFisting: What other projects are you working on?
TiR: My one man power point, personal empowerment, business meeting satire show Power Up is coming up again in September/October. I rented an authentic downtown seminar room to do it. Also, Shoes of Destiny, which is just like Things in Rubbers, except it's shoes I found on the street or at the thrift store and without the rubbers.
I'm also working on a neo-noir play with a female version of Frank Chu and a crooked cop and bloody $500 bills with arabic written on them with the true location of the Iraqi Uranium for October/November. And playing a lot of Robotron 2084, that's my favorite game of all time.
SFisting: Do you have a fetish?
TiR: The short list: Messy play, latex (obviously), nerds, stockings, shoes, choking, pain, medical gear, business attire, leather, Instigator Magazine, voyeurism, Robotron 2084.
SFisting: Why "rubbers" and not "condoms"?
TiR: I'm from Miami, no one says 'condoms' in Miami. No one says, 'Dude' either, but for some reason I say, 'Dude', but what I really mean is 'Bro'.
In closing, we think this poor man needs help. Your kind of help. The only way to keep this great tradition alive is more rubbers; send your (unused) donations to Sean at Things in Rubbers. (No "gently used" donations, either, people.)