Left Behind

As the saying goes, Muni helps those who help themselves, so if you're hoping for some kind of fare relief any time soon, don't count on getting a hand from our fearless local transit agency. As you surely know, fares go up to $1.50 starting Thursday, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Luckily for the Bob-Cratchety among us, Muni's introducing a "Lifeline" bus pass this month, at a rate that's reduced by TEN WHOLE DOLLARS! Wow! All you have to do to get one is ... um ... er ... well, nobody's really sure. Have you seen any info, anywhere, about how to pick up a lifeline pass? We did some highly journalistic digging around and unearthed a Top Sekrit Ph0ne Numb3r -- it's 415-557-5900 -- to hear a prerecorded message about the new pass. You can only buy it on the last business day of the prior month or first three business days of the current month; you can only buy one between 8am and 4:30pm; you can only buy them at 170 Otis St and 3120 Mission St; and you can only get one if you're on public assistance like Medical or CalWorks, or if you've gotten the Working Families Tax Credit.

So let's get this straight: the Lifeline pass, which Muni says will ease the burden brought on by its own incompetance, is only available for the working poor to purchase ... while they're at work? Hmmm, and we wonder if there'll be extremely long lines and wait times, too. We can't wait to start hearing stories about people getting fired from their minimum-wage jobs because they had to take a long lunch in order to buy the bus pass that would get them to work. "Vicious cycle of poverty," what's that?