We Gotta Get Out Of This Place

Now that Sandra Day has left and gone away, we San Franciscans are living in dread of facing the inevitable judicial nightmare that comes with being attached to the rest of the country. Bring on the secession talk! Again. Local blogger, The Revolution Will Be Televised was so inspired by our recent national celebration honoring the Declaration of Independence that he issued a Declaration of Independence for San Francisco, or as the blogger now calls it, the United Neighborhoods of San Francisco. The blog even comes with a cool-ass video to rally the troops (maybe he should change his site to "The Revolution Will Be Flickrized?") We would give an example of some of the garden variety progressive kvetches that the blogger lists as reasons for the declaration but then somebody might make a big deal out of it and the next thing you know we're on "Hannity and Colmes" trying to explain that we don't hate America.

You know, we love all the talk about secession because, well, it's fun. But let's face it, do we really want to secede? If we did, we'd have nothing to make us all puffed up with smugness about how much better it is here than the rest of the country. And whom would we have to rebel against? As Americans, we're nonconformist sexual outlaws rebelling against Middle American society. Take Middle America out of the equation and we're just a bunch of tattooed, dyed hair freaks. Face it, we need to be part of America.