San Francisco. San Francisco is the bestest! San Francisco is so the bestest that we want to spend the rest of the week watching it on TV. In some form, or another.

And so we shall!

If you haven't been watching Morgan Spurlock's "30 Days" Wednesday's on F/X, then you've been missing out. Sure, the last two episodes haven't quite lived up to the premiere (in which Spurlock and his fiance moved to Ohio and lived on minimum wage. That was some terrific TV, let us tell you what!) but the show is still 10 times better than any other reality TV fare being offered right now. So do yourselves a favor and tune in tonight for the episode in which a "Midwestern homophobe" moves to the Castro. We wish we could tell you more about the episode, but every time we try and visit the show's official site, it freezes our computer. (Love the show! Hate the site!) So you'll just have to watch for yourself tonight at 10 p.m. as "Ryan" moves in with a gay roommate (this we know), works for a gay business (we think), and attends a gay bar (we hope). It's gonna be gay, gay, gay! Have fun trying to spot your neighbors, your house, or your favorite hang-out during the hour.

Image we just don't understand, from the "Surreal Life 5" Web site. We swear.

Speaking of gay, we'd like to report that Logo is definitely, absolutely on the air in the City. We checked it out just last night on digital channel 146. And we've got the cheapest digital package there is! (Don't worry. We haven't gone soft. We still think Comcast blows.) So it's only appropriate that they should air Margaret Cho's 2000 concert movie I'm the One That I Want, which was filmed at the Warfield. Cho returns home to make fun of her mother, and her vagina, and the gays, and yeah, we laughed. We aren't as fanatical about her as some seem to be (and they manage to get some of those fans into the film) but we have to give our former classmate her props. She's struck a cord with a hell of a lot of people. Watch the movie Thursday at 10 p.m. (But be warned. We have no idea if Margaret's foul mouth will be censored by the channel, and frankly, if it is, then what's the point?)

We don't know if this a good thing or a bad thing, but "The Surreal Life 5", featuring everyone's favorite (former) local steroid poster boy Jose Canseco, is hitting the air a full two months earlier than we had previously reported. Frankly, we're a little frightened of this season. Omarosa, a pseudo-celebrity we had hoped to never, ever see again is amongst the housemates, as are some people we've never even heard of. Seriously, "Caprice"?! And when we read the name "Cary Hart" we immediately started humming "Sunglasses at Night," only to find out we had the wrong guy. Sad. But then again: Balki! Tune in to the nightmare this Sunday.

And in the "we gotta see this to believe it" category, the Food Network will be re-airing a 2002 episode of the Rachael Ray show $40-a-Day in which she visits San Francisco to dine in Chinatown, at Swan Oyster Depot, and at Le Metro Cafe. For only 40 dollars! Watch her perform this magic trick Tuesday night at 10 p.m.