Look out, Sin!
June's issue of "San Francisco Faith: The Bay Area's Catholic Newspaper," is, as always, a goldmine of hilarity and religious oppression. Once again, its best bits are the advertisements: an ad for a Fatima Conference in bustling Carson, California informs us that speaker Al Barbarino, an enormous-haired "counselor in a high security youth prison," has "recorded seven albums of inspirational songs." Yikes; we knew the youth prison system was grim, but that's downright cruel and unusual. Another ad for a Bay Area ex-gayifying group (it's true! Ex-gays in SF! Can you believe it?) promises to help diminish same-sex feelings and impuses, alongside an unfortunately selected illustration of Jesus holding a man's head suggestively close to His lap. Another ad takes a furious stance on the use of conga drums; we're not exactly sure what that one's about.
Our favorite ad is for a Catholic phone company that's "working to end abortion" by challenging companies like Verizon, which advertises on "anti-family television shows" including the heretical "King of the Hill" with its animated infidels. The ad also mentions that "other information shows that Verizon is considered one of the strongest corporate supportes of the 'Gay Rights Movement.'" Y'know, whenever SFist uses the phrase "other information," it means we couldn't find a source and are just making s**t up.
While you could call some of those ads "inflammatory" (or, if you like, "selective lies"), the articles themselves are a bit "cooler-headed" (or "boring"). There's a blurb about assemblywoman Cathy Berg (D-Eureka), whose California Compassionate Choices Act (AB 654) would make it legal for terminally ill folks who are within six months of their projected painful deaths to, um, cut to the chase. Even though nobody would be required to euthanize themselves, the mere fact that other people might be exercising the choice has some folks riled up. Their attitude is that absolutely everyone should follow their religion's rules in all regards. Hey, wasn't the point of this whole "America" experiment to get away from that sort of religious oppression in Europe? Oh well.
Another article focusses on pharmacists who refuse to do their job, then get huffy when their bosses raise an eyebrow. Allow us to make a suggestion: if you don't want to dispense drugs, perhaps a career in drug-dispensing just isn't for you. In the meantime, rest assured that state senator Barbra Ortiz (D-Sacramento) is working to protect your access to contraception. Whew.
Towards the rear, a short blurb mentions that local Supervisor and heartthrob Tom Ammiano declined to attend a mass for Pope JP, saying that he'd prefer to attend a gay marriage. Awesome. Another blurb relates the story of a citizen who donated part of his liver to save the life of a sick bishop (in violation, we must point out, of God's will). And one last blurb sallies forth on the topic of a statewide "Preschool for All" ballot initiative, which doesn't have much to do with the newsletter's topical focus, other than that the initiative is sponsored by Rob Reiner. The paper identifies Mr. Reiner as "Meathead." Geez, way to hold a grudge.
Well, that's about it for this month's faith-based bullying and posturing. We mean, news. Until next time, have faith and be a good lay!