The Essefficist Scrapes Rock Bottom
Not only is the Essefficist thick in the final stages of a mammoth six-month renovation project, but we're also thick in the early stages of a brand spanking new job with twelve-hour workdays. With all of this overlapping mayhem (and with the morale-crushing dearth of answerable questions from you the reader of late), we humbly, three days late, present the following:
Dear Essefficist,
So I've got three weddings to go to this summer, and I just picked up a stylin' charcoal grey suit so I'll definitely look the rakish cad. Being single, I've found weddings a great place to meet the ladies. Problem is, the three weddings are for, in order: an old high school paramour, a cousin, and a friend from elementary school, and my parents will probably be at all three. So how do I pick up chicks without being too creepy? Should I simply sublimate any tendencies, or should I not feel guilty at all?
Anotjacksonymous
Hey, man, what's so bad about being creepy? Chicks dig creepy and your parents will just think it's endearing to know that their darling son is exercising his natural libido. Maybe.
Anyways, the setting really doesn't matter. If you're a creepy old man, you're a creepy old man whether you're at your cousin's wedding or an old folks home. If you're a suave man-about-town, you're a suave ma-about-town.
But really, Anotjacksonymous, we have unending faith in you. All women at all weddings are yours. Except for the brides. And the mothers-in-law. And some other ones too. But you know what we mean.
So, as for the rest of you, e-mail all your questions about San Francisco or your own exciting life to the Essefficist, thereby obtaining, if you're lucky, even more info on the everyday things going on around you all the time (or just post 'em in the comments). And remember, March still equals Irish Month around here, even though it's April now and officially Baseball Month. Well, actually, we lied. It's May now and officially Star Wars month. Maybe. We'll see how The Movie is. It opens next week; we'll decide then.
But we really need some questions around here. Ask, ask, ask, and you shall receive.