The Trimethyldioxypurist Takes in the View
We'll make this one short and sweet -- at Red's Java House (Pier 30), what you see is what you get.
On a nice day, you can't beat being bayside; you can't beat the view and the sun and the cheap, short-order grub, and the outdoor patio is nice too. And there's a bar out there. With booze.
We (along with Mrs. Trimethyldioxypurist) ended up there by pure coincidence. See, the plan was to write about a different coffee joint, one that a friend had recommended as having incredible espresso drinks. We stood in line, we waited, we checked out the menu at this place (which we won't name) . . .
. . . and then we left. Splitsville. Look, your Trimethyldioxypurist is not cheap. We regularly spend more per day on coffee than most folks do on lunch. However, there are limits.
We refuse to pay more than $4 for an espresso drink. Sorry -- we don't care if it's laced with gold or narcotics or whatever -- if the double cappuccino is closer to $4 than $3, we are outta there.
So we left. Maybe one day when SFist starts paying for our coffee. Ha. Ha ha ha. Oh my. But not on our own dime; if the goal of the Trimethyldioxypurist is to share coffee-drinking experiences with like-minded java fans, we're going to be fiscally responsible with our recommendations.
Thus onto Red's -- essentially the opposite. Just a little "greasy spoon," as our folks would say. No line. No coffee choices. You order coffee? You get coffee. It's about a buck. It's good. Not "I just ground up these perfectly roasted beans" good, but serviceable. It tastes like coffee. It's got caffeine. It's cheap.
Did we mention the view?
Look, we really like this place. We shared pancakes and eggs for lunch, washed it down with cheap, sorta weak, but tasty coffee, and went on our way, all the while enjoying the atmosphere.
It is what it is. It's amazingly unpretentious -- a nice change of pace from, ya know, coffee joints that think being on Union Square is an excuse to charge up the wazzoo. Red's doesn't have to pretend to be anything else. It works. It's done so since 1923. It's close to the ballpark--perfect for pre-game coffee, post-game booze, or vice versa.
Right now, it holds the title for our favorite "coffee dive." Check it if you have the chance. Stay for the view.