Resting in Peace with the Essefficist
Good news, Everyone! The Essefficist is back! Actually, we've just returned from Denver and our heads are still a little woozy from all that thin air up there. But we're here for you now. Today we've only got one item. It's about dead pets. We were also intending to answer a question about where to watch Star Wars Episode III on opening night--it opens a month from today--but we're still following up on some leads. We'll keep you posted. But for now, let us present a question (or series thereof) which was posted in the comments last week by a guy called George (not Lucas):
Here's a question: what do people do with their dead pets in the City? Or any big city? What's San Francisco's take on burying "Meow Meow Kitty" in Golden Gate Park? Or "Miss Beazley" under her favorite palm tree in the median on Dolores? Or should we venture out of the City? There's always Colma. Or Ocean Beach. What does BART or Muni think about transporting dead animals? We know what they think about the living ones. Although I've seen some interesting heads hanging out of bags on the 30 Stockton bus. How suspicious would I look with a large trash bag and a shovel? Right, better take a taxi...but then do I ask him to wait? I don't have any dead or dying pets...just wondering.
Creepy stream of consciousness, huh George? Jeez. It seems like we could spend all day trying to answer everything you just asked, but we'll make it snappy. We called SF Animal Care and Control and asked them what they thought. Not surprisingly, they said you aren't allowed to bury your pet in the park. And we got the impression that the City frowns on burying your pet in your yard, although it wasn't too clear. But ACC will actually take your dead pet off your hands and dispose of it for you How? Cremation? Incineration? Burnination? Nope. A private company takes the remains and--this is kinda gross--recycles them as agricultural fertilizer. We asked how that happens and didn't get a real clear answer, but we weren't too upset about. You can also pay to get your pet cremated. Talk to the ACC or SFSPCA or your vet about getting that done.
We had a dog that got cremated a couple of years ago. After our german shepherd Tara died, the vets--boy did they do a terrible job--gave us her ashes in a little wooden box. The little wooden box stayed behind the seat of our truck for a while until we dumped the ashes in a hole in the ground between two deck chairs in the back yard that Tara had dug that she liked to sit in before she died and then we filled it in with dirt. So Tara dug her own grave. That seems like maybe the only way that the City wouldn't mind you burying your pet in your yard. Or the park. (But please don't tell the cabbie what's in the box. Or the Muni driver. Their jobs are hard enough.)
If you really want to bury your pet and you wanna go legit, there are a couple of real live pet cemeteries in the Bay Area. (Unfortunately the Presidio Pet Cemetery, pretty much the coolest one around, closed in 2001.) In Colma, you can bury your pet at a place called Pet's Rest. Or in Napa, at Bubbling Well, which is the place in that Errol Morris movie). Or at Whispering Pines, in Sebastopol.
In closing, as per usual, please remember that you can e-mail all your questions about San Francisco or your own exciting life to the Essefficist, thereby obtaining, if you're lucky, even more info on the everyday things going on around you all the time (or just post 'em in the comments). And remember, March still equals Irish Month around here, even though it's April now and officially Baseball Month