SF Knows Nuthin' 'bout Birthin' No Babies
Join SFist Amanda as she continues her series on the family way and being in it, with her report on Bay Area childbirth classes.
Even those of us who are due to give birth in 6 weeks admit to being somewhat clueless about what the childbirth experience is all about. So what do we do? We do what all educated and enlighted people do; we shell out the cash and sign up for a class.
There are tons of options available in the Bay Area. We chose a class from Moms on the Move, in Marin County. We found the class to be an excellent balance between holistic and traditional. The classes are all taught by Susan Lawler, an R.N. and Childbirth educator for 20-odd years. During the class she compared childbirth to vomiting (an image we really liked), and she used enough hippyesqe euphamisms like “mentally go to the Living Room and not the Emergency Room” to keep our born-on-a-commune husband happy. Plus, we love anyone who tells us that during labor we are going to sound like mating whales. We’d rather project the image of a sonic-booming whale than a screaming banshee any day.
Image from the Oregon City Evangelical Church site.
If you are knocked up in Palo Alto you can attend Touch Blue Sky, Birthing From Within. Their website looks like they are on the hippy side of dippy, “Birthing From Within is a soulful and holistic approach that gives parents the tools to birth naturally and to birth-in-awareness when the journey takes unexpected turns.” And apparently part of your tuition pays for art materials that you get to use during the class. Crafts and labor pain! Whoo!
"Draw what you feel."
"I feel that I want to rip your head off."
"NURSE!"
Moving on to the more traditional, Childbirth Prep Class is offered through the Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital at Stanford. This class is a no-frills, no-nonsense, "breathe your way through it or take some damn drugs already" style of delivery. They even say in their class description that they cater towards the "normal" birth. No placenta recipies in their handouts here! Kaiser Permanente and Sutter Health also offer classes within their hopitals. Not all of these are certain to be covered by your insurance, so check beforehand.
Birthways in Oakland offers everything from Hypnobirth ("You are feeling veeerry sleeepy. PUSH! Now sleeeep. Wake up! Push! Annnnnnnd sleeeeeeep.") to Homebirth. While we wouldn’t want to squat on a tarp in our living room, more power to the woman who gets to avoid that horrible hospital smell. Keep in mind though: if you don’t give birth in a hospital, you don’t get the cute little hat that they plunk on to every newborn.
Being pregnant is scary enough, so do yourself a favor and sign up for one of these classes. As you can see, there's something there for the most conservative to the most liberal breeder out there. If anything, you and your partner can sit in the back and mock the rest of the couples in attendence.