It's What? It's the Essefficist, Silly!

So anyway, for those of you who don't know what an It's-It is, it's "the official food of San Francisco," or at least that's what the It's-It website says, Rice-a-Roni, burritos and sourdough bread be damned. Still don't know what an It's-It is? It's a glob of ice cream smooshed between two oatmeal cookies and dipped in chocolate. They're four or five inches wide and two inches thick (although we might be inflating their size in our rosy-colored memories of them). They come sealed in little plastic baggies and you rip 'em open and eat 'em with your hands and get ice cream and chocolate (lots of chocolate) all over your face.

So what's the deal with It's-Its? We checked out their website, which is a little chaotic and kinda half-ass but gives a pretty decent amount of information on the product. In brief, It's-Its were first made at Playland in 1928 and continued as a treat there until the park closed in the early seventies. Somebody started making them again in 1974, selling them in local stores. In 1978, with the demand for It's-Its growing, the factory was moved to a location near SFO. They grew and moved again in the early nineties to a warehouse in Burlingame, where the company continues to pump out ice cream sandwiches in four (four!) flavors: vanilla, chocolate, mint, and cappuccino. (That cappuccino action sounds super tasty, no?) They also make a few other ice cream-based products: the Super Sundae, the Big Daddy (!), the Super Cone, and the Chips It.

As far as finding It's-Its goes, the website says you can get them "at many retail stores in states west of the Rockies. The It's-It 3-pack, which consists of 3 individually wrapped It's-It bars, can be found at many supermarkets throughout Northern California. These supermarkets include Safeway, Albertson's, Raley's and Nob Hill. It's-It products can also be found at mass retailers such as Costco, Sam's Club and Smart & Final." (We'd just like to comment that the website discusses the "It's-It," the "IT'S IT," and the "It's It." So the product's name is kinda fluid, we guess.) That all sounded kind of vague, so we called up It's-It world headquarters down in Burlingame to see if they could tell us any specific retailers in the east bay that we could send our main man (woman?) S to, but they were just about as uninformative on the phone as they are on their website as to where to buy their stuff in the East Bay.

However, you can get It's-Its shipped or delivered to you, which is pretty cool. You gotta buy a lot of them -- they sell 'em by the case -- but don't tell me there aren't a few transplant San Franciscans in Manhattan right now who wouldn't just love to have five or six cases of IT'S ITs (sorry, couldn't resist) overnighted to them for their next birthday party.

And by the way, what's up with S, an admitted denizen of the East Bay, throwing around references to the Mill Valley Market like we're all gonna think he (or she) is special or something?

Well, that's it for this week, kids. For even more info on the everyday things going on around you all the time, e-mail your questions about San Francisco or your own exciting life to the Essefficist (or just post 'em in the comments). And remember, no good questions from readers equals crappy Essefficist columns.