Airport Holiday Roundup

We're going to let you in on a little holiday travelling secret... Don't Do It. Seriously. Wait for teleportation or, say, February. But if you must go somewhere during the holiday season, the three local airports have some tips for you.

The Oakland Airport has a clever list of the 12 tips for holiday travel. They suggest a good last minute airport-panic gift would be a bobblehead doll of the Governator. We're not so sure about that but at least it has more comic potential than socks. Oakland also guarantees a parking spot somewhere in one of its lots. If you haven't already suckered someone into driving you then you might need to take advantage of this.

The Mineta San Jose Airport doesn't have anything clever or special, but offers the same tips (PDF) as the rest - get there early, don't wrap gifts in carry-on, etc. They will be offering free water and coffee on the 23rd and 24th. The big thing to remember here is that with all the construction going on traffic will be a mess. So if you're dropping someone off at the airport pack a snack and be prepared to tell them to run for it from the freeway. Not that we've ever had to do that.

SFO might just win, hands down, in the dual contest of craziest airport and most holiday travel amenities. Yes, you know everyone in the place (other than yourself, gentle reader) will be a stressed out holiday lunatic, but at least they can get the kinks worked out at a pre-boarding massage (PDF). That's right - spa services are available after the security checkpoint. There will be carolers roaming the terminal and parking rates are reduced. Additionally (and we think this is really smart) they offer complimentary gift wrapping. You can't wrap it before security but you can bring them that way on the plane. The service is free, but donations are being collected for Big Brothers/Big Sisters. It seems like a no-brainer to us - get the last bit of holiday stress over with and donate money to a great cause!

The TSA itself has a series of tips that are good to check out no matter what time of the year you'll be flying. Yes, we know that airport security is both Orwellian and Draconian but there are ways to make it as easy on yourself as possible. Like, say, not trying to bring that set of Ginsu knives for Uncle Rory in your carry-on.

Possibly the most helpful link we can offer those who intend to brave holiday travel is the TSA's Wait Times website. There you'll be able to look for the historical wait times at the security checkpoint of your choice. The thing to note is that it doesn't account for holiday travel, so SFist advises multiplying the resulting time by 20 families with small children, 15 old people who can't move or hear, 45 irate businessmen who clearly are more important than the rest of you, and the 12 detoxing college freshmen who will all be in line ahead of you.

Finally, don't forget to check the weather before you pack - we hear it's crazy cold out east.