In the Bored Room

Kelly Perdew beat out Bay Area lawyer Jennifer Massey in last night's 16 hour finale of The Apprentice. The fight for a position as one of Donald Trump's many lackeys ultimately came down to a battle of the bland versus the blonde. Bland won, muttered "I like Vegas, but give me the job in New York, so I can be closer to you, Lord Donald," and promptly fell asleep. Oh wait. That was US who fell asleep.

What should have been an exciting finale full of spit and vinegar in the boardroom, instead turned into an endless series of "spontaneous" "Kelly is the greatest," and "Jennifer, booo!" comments from, seriously, hundreds of the Lincoln Center audience members. We were not fans of Jennifer throughout the series (did she really ever DO anything? And remember when she took credit for Ivana's work on the Levi's project?!) but by the end of the evening, even we were feeling sorry for her. However, we're sure she'll do fine. Her boss had nice things to say about her, so she probably still has a job. Or she can follow the lead of some of her former teammates and do something really classy.

As for the series itself, we think it's in serious danger. This season blew. Previews for the next season (premiering January 20th) promise that the new batch of hopefuls will be divided into "book smarts versus street smarts" teams. The nerds against the thugs! That could be good. But let's hope the contestants are more than just pretty faces this time, and that the tasks involve more than staged excuses for product placement and require, oh, we don't know, actual SKILLS and WORK.

And for the love of Christmas, keep the finale to two hours--at the most! And never, EVER, subject us to Regis again.