We Read The Weeklies

…so we can accidentally hit people as we struggle to turn the pages while standing on BART! (sorry, neighbor.)

Last week's cham-peen, the Guardian! Guess what the Guardian's worked up about? You'll never guess: PG&E! Also, an article providing a nice contrast to the Chron's unrelentingly pro-Newsom article series, about people falling through the cracks under Care Not Cash. Cover article: soldiers coming back from Iraq with post-traumatic stress disorder (well, sure). Annalee Newitz misses Joss Whedon. Sonic Reducer hated the new Lindsay Lohan album. Hooray For Anything got stuck directing traffic on Valencia this evening so no wank of the week (but it's an entertaining story).

And to apologize for their absence over the past few weeks, the East Bay Express. Bottom Feeder gives some follow-up on the Stanford law student who became a prostitute and married one of the co-founders to Ask Jeeves.com. Apparently the law student was turned in to the IRS for tax evasion by Stone Cold Steve Austin's ex-girlfriend. People are getting botulism from a dirty batch of black tar heroin. Cover article: the dude who started dailykos.com (hey, did you hear there were a lot of bloggers covering the presidental election?). Places selling gingerbread houses, written up like real estate ads (FSBO). And hell yeah, a Jim Henson tribute band (the Dead Hensons) playing "upbeat hits" from Sesame Street, the Muppet Show, Fraggle Rock, and the Dark Crystal. (All together! One two three four five, six seven eight nine ten, eleven tweeeeeeeelve! The band notes that the funky guitar part in that song is actually kind of hard to play).

The Weekly and the pick of the week, after the jump (yes, yes, you all know: sorry, no Metro this week.)

The Weekly, just filled with contrarian. Matt Smith urges better housing policies so more people can afford to move out of their red states to live here. Quiz: are you an apologist for the Niners? ("Honestly, where's BALCO when you really, really need it?"). Good god, don't eat seafood you catch in the Bay – would you like some flame retardant with your striped bass, sir or ma'am? Cover article: the year in music (hey! Have you heard of this band the Arcade Fire?). Profile of a punk rock band with a 7 year old lead singer and a tweenybopper backing band. We're sure they hate it when old people say this, but they really are just adorably precious. Savage Love: a person whose girlfriend only enjoys sex when she's fantasizing about being molested by evil scientists. Dan thinks that's fine.

And the Weekly of the Week? It's the EBX! The prostitute, dailykos.com, and the Dead Hensons! We are totally downloading the Dead Hensons as soon as we post this! One two three four five, six seven eight nine ten, eleven tweeeeeeeeelve!