We Read The Weeklies

...because we always refold the pages wrong!

Kicking things off, last week's (i.e., Monday's) Weekly of the Week, the SF Weekly! First off, they're looking for a new theater critic! SFist Cheshire, that’s totally you! Matt Smith challenges the guy who's backing building a garage in Golden Gate Park to a footrace! (We're not really 100% sure why, but we're so there, passing out little cups of water along the way.) A microbiologist builds labyrinths. Huh, there's a photo show called "The Joy of Breasts" starting this Saturday, with 100+ pictures of boobie. Cover article: Local band Boxcar Saints, by Silke Tudor, formerly known as the Night Crawler (their music reminds Silke of epilepsy. Hm.) What, we're at Savage Love already? Advice to the guy a few weeks back who's the victim of a circumcision gone frighteningly awry. Maybe it's just us, but none of this advice seems like what the guy was looking for ("have you considered electrical stimulation?").

So! Onto the EBX! A profile of the two dueling tarot card readers at Telegraph and Channing (things are better now than in the early 80s, where there were 8 tarot card readers on the same block). Cover: A genuinely fascinating article about Cal's academic programs geared towards the primarily African-American athletes and their perspectives on race, from the perspective of a writer who tutors there. The Berkeley Art Museum is sponsoring an art exhibit called "PowerPoint to the People," a genius title. We hope the dude scratching his head with the question mark over him makes an appearance. He's cool.

The Bay Guardian after the jump (sorry, our Metro source punked out again). And the Weekly of the Week! (You've been breathlessly waiting it since, oh, Monday, right?)

Bay Guardian what! Local politics: don't get mad at Daly for yelling at rich landlords! A cop with the SFPD is alleged to have shot between 8 to 20 people (if that guy comes up to ask you to turn the music down, just do it, okay?). Annalee Newitz is angry that Christians are trying to take your porn away. The sex columnist takes on a distraught woman who sounds like she has body dysmorphic disorder (like Michael Jackson with his nose) – yeesh, we're glad we're not an advice columnist. Performance art on Thursday nights at the 16th Street BART station. Cover article: the San Francisco music scene and everyone's top 10 for 2004. What? No Brit-Brit? (Oh, no, wait, Jimmy Draper lists "Toxic" as his number 1 song for 2004. Written by Cathy Dennis!). Hooray for Anything's back from South America, hooray! And he's got the wank of the week fresh from the cover piece. And finally, the travel columnist tucked away in the back who we always accidentally skip (dude, you gotta get them to put you earlier up in the paper) drives up the San Andreas.

And the Weekly of the Week -- we're giving it to the EBX -- because the article about race at Cal is, you know, actually something people interested in sports, race, academia, or public education should read. (Sorry to get all serious on you like that -- but it's really very good!) And the music columns in the Bay Guardian are worth a skim if you like those end-of-year list columns that always get put together starting around now.