Housing Bubbles: Monkey Knife Fight

Oh, boo frickin' hoo. The Examiner today profiles an angry yuppie living across from the ballpark who says that a piece of graffiti is ruining his "million-dollar view." The disgruntled homeowner paid $850,000 for his tenth-story condo and says that the tag on the old warehouse across the street, reading "MORE BOOK$," appeared in April while he was on a business trip. The homeowner calls the tag "a very good public nuisance," and says he preferred the old sign on the building (that said "South End Warehouse") because "it was a beautiful piece of history." "I'm at a dead end," he sighs. "The only thing I can do at this point is hire an attorney."

Hey, guy. If you're going to buy a place in SoMA, for that gritty city ambiance so you can pick up the ladies (or the dudes) in your swanky pad, you can't really complain when the place actually looks like an urban warehouse district. It's not the tagger's fault you couldn't afford the snazzy Victorian two-bed two-bath in Pacific Heights that you really wanted! This is like when SoMA residents bought places near the highway and then complained that there were too many billboards. Next: people who move to the Mission and complain that there are too many taquerias.

The online version of this article doesn't have a picture of the aggrieved gentleman, but we'd strongly, strongly encourage you to pick up the print copy and check him out, looking forlornly at the 25-foot "more book$" graffiti and his spoiled million dollar view. The city, for its part, has contacted the owner of the tagged building and told him he'll be fined $500 if he doesn't get rid of the tag, under Elsbernd's new anti-graffiti legislation.