Proposition It San Francisco Style

Proposition A- Affordable Housing Bonds
Now first of all, we like how the state uses numbers for their propositions while SF uses letters. How nice of everyone to differentiate things like that. How else would we be able to keep our city and state propositions straight? Trust us, after reading all 400 pages of the voter's guide any help is appreciated.

Everyone knows that housing in this city is a bitch- whether it is lack of places to rent, way high rents, or the inability to buy anything without having to spend a small fortune. Proposition A is a bond measure that calls for a $200 million dollar housing bond. The money in the bond goes to three different needs- $90 million to loans or grants to subsidize supportive housing, $60 million to build rental housing for low-income residents, and a $50 million to subsidize housing for first-time buyers. The hope behind the money is to throw enough money at the housing issue to not only help people buy homes, but provide housing for homeless people. And while $200 million dollars is a whole lotta money, this bond measure somehow has the support of all the various warring factions in the city- homeless activists and the Chamber of Commerce, Matt and Gav, and almost every organization in the city. In fact, after reading through the Voter's Guide, it appears that the only people against the bond are members of the San Francisco Republican Party. All five of them.

Proposition B- Historical Preservation Bonds

Yep, another bond measure, this time for $60 million dollars to preserve such landmarks as historical the Old Mint, the Palace of Fine Arts, Coit Tower, McLaren Lodge and the Bayview Opera House. Who doesn't want to renovate Coit Tower? The Board of Supervisors all voted for this measure, everyone except Fiona Ma. Frankly, to get most of the Board of Supervisors to agree anything and not call anyone a dirty word is pretty impressive.

Proposition C- Health Service System
According to the Web site:

If you vote "yes," you want to make the Health Service System a separate City department, authorize the Health Service Board to appoint and remove the manager of the Health Service System, and change the membership of the Health Service Board.

We did try to read the analysis of this measure, but frankly we were too bored by it to make it through a paragraph or two.

Proposition D- Changes to the City Charter
You know when you attend some big, official bureaucratic meeting and you spend most of the time debating the rules on the debating? That's what this proposition is all about. Among some of the things this proposition calls for is that each member of the Board of Supervisor will have two staff members, the Commission on Aging Would be Renamed the "Commission on Aging and Adult Services," and certain deadlines the Board face can occasionally have extensions. While every member of the Board supports this measure, it does not have the support of District 8 Board of Supervisor Candidate, Starchild.

Proposition E- Police & Fire Survivor Benefits
This proposition states that if a policeman or fireman dies in the line of duty, their survivor gets 100% of the benefits, regardless of when they were hired. We guess the date in which they are hired is currently a big deal. We have to give credit to the Bay Guardian for having the chutzpah to come out against this measure, as saying anything no to policeman and fireman, especially after their sanctification in a post 9/11 world, is pretty ballsy. We do, however, wonder what will happen if their office is to ever catch on fire.

Proposition F- Non-citizen Voting in School in School Board Elections
This measure calls for the allowing of non-citizens to vote in School Board elections if they have children in the school, which supporters say constitutes about 30% of the city's school population. It is also the pet project of the Poet Prince of San Francisco, Matt Gonzalez. We would say something about this amendment, but as immigration issues usually turn people into raving, foaming, lunatics, we're steering clear of this one.

Proposition G- Health Plans for City Residents
If you read what the measure says, it sounds like it's a plan to give everyone in the city who needs it a health plan. In actuality, it's not. What the proposition calls for is for the city to plan on creating a plan that would give everyone in the city a health plan to anyone who needs one. Which means that when the Board of Supervisors voted to create this proposition, they were, in effect, meeting to plan the planning of the plan that creates the plan. You know when you say a word so many times it looses all meaning? Writing that sentence just made us wonder what the word "plan" means.

Proposition H- Naming the Stadium at Candlestick Point (in other words, Candlestick Park).

You're the owner of the 49'ers. The stadium you play in is old, creaky, and dilapidated. Even worse, it doesn't have nearly enough of those fancy-schmancy luxury boxes all the other stadiums have, the one that brings in the dough. Ideally, you dream about building a new stadium, but you represent a city that for whatever reason, doesn't believe in giving over wads of money over to build football stadiums during economic down-times. As a result, you don't have any money and you wind up having to field a really crappy football team (you are also a cheapskate, but that's another subject). One day, some rich guy decides to throw you some money just to name the stadium in which you play in after his company. And not just you but give money to the city too. So you say the only thing you can say- hell yeah. Easy money, right? But wait. This is San Francisco. The Board of Supervisors, who have nothing else to do with their time, decide that even though everyone involved could use the money, it's time to take a stand against the ever encroaching corporatization of America. And so they put a measure on the ballot to have everyone vote whether you can take money from rich guys to name the stadium after their company. And as you sit there and pinch your pennies, you wonder why you didn't inherit some time in Kansas City or Cleveland or Baltimore where people only care about watching some football. And why does everything in this city have to be so difficult?

To be continued....