Tuesday brings the Giants and the Padres and the Essefficist. What could possibly be better? Don't answer that. Today we turn to an issue especially dear to many a San Franciscan: parking. Specifically, parking regulations, enforcement thereof, parking tickets, and towing. More specifically, parking for people who are worshiping, mourning, dining, or shopping in the Mission. Let's turn to George:

Explain why church goers can park their cars in the middle of the street, like on Guerrero or Valencia, for hours at a time; but people who park in the median (not blocking ANY traffic) on Valencia to run into a shop or restaurant often return moments later to find a visit from the SF DPT? What gives?

Well, George, our good friend, whom we shall call Muffin, who's really much more like a little bird than a baked treat, knows a suspiciously large amount about the inner workings of the Department of Parking and Traffic and was happy to give us the poop.

While it's illegal to park in the double-double-yellow median on Valencia Street (or anywhere else, for that matter), or next to the raised median on Guerrero, the DPT bows to the SFPD's Mission Station, who's policy is to grant a sort of courtesy immunity to the churches in the area on Sunday mornings, when traffic isn't so bad. The same goes for local funeral homes, who generally have their own lots but often need to overflow into the streets. The police figure that these drivers generally aren't going to be around too long and they're usually there during quieter times anyway. (It turns out, in fact, that the people who park in the street during services are often residents waiting for regular street parking to clear up when the attendees leave so they can get legal spots.) So the DPT goes easy on them. They do, however, keep their eyes on them. If there are cars jamming up the middle of the street, the DPT sends a supervisor to confirm that there is in fact a service happening. If not, big trouble. The DPT also prefers that those parking mid-street place cones or some other warning device at the rear of the pack so that drivers don't plow into them.

So that covers the church thing. Otherwise, however, watch out. It is plainly posted around Valencia Street that parking in the median is illegal and many local merchants warn their patrons against the practice. There's a certain amount of leeway given to working commercial vehicles -- better to have a furniture truck out there than in the bike lane -- but the DPT has little patience or sympathy for anyone else who leaves their car out there, especially on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights, when the bars and restaurants are jammed and parking's real slim. They ticket fast and they tow fast.

As always, Email your questions to the Essefficist or post 'em in the comments. And Go Giants!